Job Recruitment Website - Zhaopincom - Divorced at the age of 39, a person who has experienced blood and tears: There is a good man, I advise you not to marry.

Divorced at the age of 39, a person who has experienced blood and tears: There is a good man, I advise you not to marry.

I have a group with sisters from all corners of the country. Their lives are varied, but they all have one thing in common: unhappy marriage.

Ah Mui is a newcomer and her marriage is a bit special. She divorced at the age of 39, not cheating, not having a mistress, not without passion, not cold violence, incompatible personality and contradictory mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. She is determined to divorce because her husband is too good for her and she can't afford the expensive price.

12 years ago, Amei was introduced by a friend and met her husband, A Cheng, who was similar in age. Acheng is Zhou Zheng, a decent, practical, enthusiastic and popular person. If a friend needs help, he will stand up without saying anything.

Amei said that she likes Acheng because of his kindness. A person who is so friendly to others, if you marry him, you will certainly not treat yourself badly.

At this point, she is not wrong. Married 1 1 year, my husband doesn't prostitute, gamble or flirt, and doesn't even have an ambiguous object. However, their marriage broke down, and it was because of Cheng's damn kindness that A-mei was cornered.

They were in love for a year and then cheated on each other. Both of them are working and have no savings. All the money of the young couple adds up to 70 thousand to 80 thousand

They originally wanted to get their parents' support to buy a house in the city, but they were still short of money at the thought of decorating after buying it. The couple discussed renting a house first, saving more money next year and buying a decent one again.

If you wait, you are finished. A friend of Acheng's drunk driving had an accident, and the other party demanded compensation of 65,438+10,000.

My friend patched things together and finally got 70 thousand, so he found Acheng with great difficulty.

Without saying anything, Acheng lent his 30,000 yuan to a friend without consulting with A-mei.

It is said that when borrowing money, it is a grandson, and when paying back money, it is a grandfather. This 30 thousand yuan has been lent out, so it will be difficult to get it back.

As soon as 30 thousand yuan was lent out, the couple's plan to buy a house fell through, assets shrank by more than half, and house prices soared. A-mei was very angry. She said every quarrel.

Her husband, a good man, looked guilty, apologized, and cried and promised to work hard to make his wife live a good life.

Acheng did it. His salary rose a little that year, so he took the initiative to do sideline work and tried his best to earn extra money.

However, the money still can't be saved.

Acheng is a real person and sincere to everyone.

A relative at home is sick, and the red envelopes are all one or two thousand; Students find him to play, accommodation, tickets, travel expenses are all his, a reception will cost thousands; What makes it hard for Amei to accept is that even his friends' gambling debts are paid by him. Finally, I was scolded by my friend's wife, and both sides didn't get along well.

Acheng always has ten thousand reasons.

This is a brother who grew up playing, and that is a heart-to-heart friend. When he was a child, who would do it himself and who would come uninvited? ...

Acheng's existence not only makes his wife feel wronged, but also makes his daughter feel wronged.

My aunt gave her a set of toys for her daughter's birthday, and the children in the neighborhood took a fancy to it. Acheng handed out the toys without saying hello. During the Chinese New Year, other people's parents put chicken legs in their children's bowls, but Acheng wanted to give them to his nephew.

Ah Mui is so wronged, but she is helpless. Don't you just take a fancy to his kindness?

How can she bear the blame? As soon as she starts quarreling, she becomes a heinous bad person.

Ah Mui can only swallow her grievances silently, and then comfort herself: her husband is not bad in nature, but now he is just immature. Maybe with children, he will think more about his family.

But ah mui thinks too much. Husband's good nature is engraved in his bones. He hasn't changed a bit since his daughter was born so long.

In Amei's memory, Acheng was not in front of her every time her daughter was ill. When his daughter is ill, he always has an excuse not to be around:

It's not good for friends not to eat, for leaders not to eat, for old classmates who haven't been in touch for ten years to get married, and for not having a wedding reception. ...

What makes A-mei completely furious is that once, her daughter was bitten by a stray dog and had a high fever. Facing his bewildered wife, Acheng had to help a colleague move.

In the face of Ah Mui's hysterical accusations, Acheng is still passive to Nuo Nuo, Nuo Nuo:

I promised my colleagues last week that I must do what I promised others. Besides, my colleagues have helped me several times, and I can't predict what will happen to my daughter. ...

Because of this kind of thing, ah mui quarreled with her husband many times. But what's the use of arguing?

Acheng is still the warm-hearted Acheng. Next time someone asks for help, Acheng will still draw a sword to help.

After so many years of unilateral efforts, Ah Mui has been exhausted. What really made her make up her mind to divorce was one thing last year.

My father-in-law fell down and had a stroke after drinking, and his body was paralyzed by half, so he needed someone to take care of him.

The three brothers in the family had agreed to pay for a nanny, and with the help of their mother-in-law, the three brothers took turns to take care of them after work.

But a few days later, Acheng quit. He said the nanny couldn't take care of her, and her mother was old. He is worried about something, so he will resign and take care of his father himself.

Ah mui is really having a hard time. It's good to have filial piety, but who will support the family after resigning?

He borrowed all the savings at home, and there was no deposit at all. My daughter needs a sum of money to go to school, and she can't afford a house after years of marriage. The old man was paralyzed and wanted to see a doctor. Acheng resigned. How does she earn enough by herself? What about the child's tuition? What if something happens to my parents?

But Acheng doesn't care about this at all. He can't let the old father who gave birth to him and raised him suffer any injustice. Therefore, only the wife and daughter can be wronged.

Acheng's brother-in-law is reasonable and willing to give a-mei money as a nurse.

As a result, it was known by Acheng, who has always been a nice guy. He flew into a rage:

How could you do that? Since you came into our house, you only talk about Qian Qian's money every day. What can you do except calculate the money? My father is paralyzed, and you still care about the money. I really misjudged you!

Ah mui was horribly angry:

Is it free to drink northwest wind? Do children still need to study? What have you done for this family after so many years of marriage? Where do you get the face to accuse me? Are you still like a man?

The two quarreled in front of their brother and sister-in-law. Maybe A Cheng was rejected and lost his self-esteem. He was angry and slapped his wife for the first time since he got married!

This slap erased the friendship between husband and wife for more than ten years.

Ah Mui was disheartened and ran back to her family with her children. Acheng is fed up with his wife's nagging. I didn't coax her this time because my old father was ill in bed.

In this way, the two divorced.

More than ten years of day and night, a porridge and a meal of friendship, is so light. Ah Mui can't help asking: Did Acheng really love her and this family?

Why doesn't he treat her as well as his colleagues, old classmates and even strangers? Even his own daughter is not as good as a unrelated child next door.

In order to give her daughter a better living environment and save money, she has been selling goods for more than ten years, unwilling to buy skin care products and staying up late to do sideline business. Compared with her peers, she looks five or six years older. Has he ever seen her suffer?

He is kind to everyone except her.

If life could be repeated, she wouldn't choose such a good person.

Ah mui's bitter history is over.

She advised the young girls in the group to have a good man and never marry him. A man who only cares about helping outsiders and getting a good reputation from them, but neglects his own family, is actually the most selfish.

There are two sets of standards for the goodness of this "good man". He is kind to outsiders, responsive to outsiders, bad to his own family, and even sacrifices the interests of his own family to satisfy outsiders.

Many people are poor all their lives and don't understand the meaning of marriage and family. They would rather sacrifice the interests of their families than get the compliment of "you are really a good man".

People like Acheng are not uncommon in life. Outsiders say they are good people. They are good brothers, loyal, dutiful sons and good employees.

They try their best to play every role, but they are not good husbands and fathers. Because they gave all the good things to outsiders and left all the grievances to their families.

They don't have any great skills themselves, but they want to be recognized and praised by others.

They are generous and helpful, giving all their enthusiasm and kindness to friends and strangers, but never thinking about where their capital for helping friends comes from.

Children don't grow up, floors don't clean, clothes don't run into the washing machine, and meals don't come out of the kitchen. The reason why they can be generous to others is that their other half bears all the responsibilities and hardships at home.

It's just Su Like Mingzhe in Everything is OK. He wants to do everything, but he doesn't have more than he can chew. You can't say that he is bad, nor is it bad to the bone, but this kind of man is really wronged to marry him.

I once heard an aunt in my hometown complain that my uncle often takes people home for dinner, chicken, duck and fish are delicious. He is only responsible for eating, drinking and chatting. Auntie, on the other hand, was busy from morning till night, from buying vegetables, washing vegetables, cutting vegetables and cooking until they finished, only to face the mess on the ground alone and drink her comatose husband.

Every time I meet this moment, marriage becomes disgusting.

Since childhood, we have been taught to respect the old and love the young, to be dedicated and to be helpful, but we have never been taught how to be kind to our partners and how to run our own marriage.

In other words, no one has ever taught us how to love the person we should love most.

Love and marriage, this course, has never been taught in school.