I want to live with you.

? Ge is a doctor in a 3A hospital in Chunjiang, and Yin Xiaohui, who is suffering from terminal cancer, is her patient. In the process of treating Yin Xiaohui, Ge Qingqing and Yin Xiaohui's husband changed from unfamiliar to familiar, from conflict to approach.

In the last days of Yin Xiaohui's life, Lin Huan, director of the Education Bureau of Chunjiang City, recalled the little things they had together and felt the new meaning that life gave to life.

Liu Ruchun is Ge's half-sister. Her parents are both dead, fragile and simple, and longing for a warm home is her pursuit of happiness. After coming to Chunjiang, I searched in the quagmire of love and finally found my own sister, and gradually matured and grew up in the process, and understood a lot about the true meaning of time.

? The novel tells the story of love, marriage, career and life through the narration of the three protagonists in the 60s, 70s and 80s from different angles, as well as the torture and exploration of people in different times on life and emotion in the process of the changes of the times and the development of cities.

At the end of the novel, all the clues converge into the same river. And the philosophy of life has surfaced.

Life is a mystery to everyone. The real answer may need sincerity and hard work to develop and cast slowly.

List of main roles

1 ge: female, 36 years old, obstetrician and gynecologist of Chunjiang Third Hospital, deputy chief physician. Exquisite medical skills, gentle personality, rationality and sensibility coexist, and it has hundreds of amorous feelings of ladies and mature women. He is the attending doctor of Lin Huan's wife Yin Xiaohui. Later, two years after Yin Xiaohui's death, she fell in love with Lin Huan and married Lin Huan.

2 Lin Huan? : Male, 46 years old, director of Chunjiang Education Bureau. Graduated from Chinese Department of Normal University, with teacher background. Yin Xiaohui's husband. With the sensitivity and delicacy of China men, he moved to officialdom, did a good job, but felt exhausted.

Yin Xiaohui: Female, 45 years old, middle school teacher, Lin Huan's wife. Marry from Beijing to Chunjiang City. A kind and single-minded traditional woman puts her husband first and is bent on becoming a little woman behind a successful man. She died of uterine cancer.

Yang Yi: Male, 36 years old, Ge's college classmate, first love, then immigrated to Germany.

Linlin: Lin Huan's sister. Yang Yi's wife is in Germany. After that, they returned to China and founded the Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital. Arrogant and willful, but kind-hearted.

Liu Dehai: Male, 60 years old, president of Chunjiang Third Hospital, a world-renowned brain surgeon. Be knowledgeable and versatile, and be charitable.

7 Liu Ruchun: Female, 24 years old, Ge's half-sister, a China student of Chunjiang Business School, whose parents died. I lead a hard life. Affectionate and simple. Later, she fell in love with Lin Huan's son Lin Kebin.

8 Lin Kebin: Male, 24 years old, son of Lin Huan, a finance student at Chunjiang Fudan University. So ambitious, humorous and romantic.

Ge Zhicheng: Liu Ruchun and Ge's father. After Chunjiang divorced Ge's mother, she married Liu Ruchun's mother. After empathy, I stopped loving. After Liu Ruchun's mother stabbed her to death, Liu Ruchun's mother committed suicide.

I want to live with you,

In some quiet town.

* * * Enjoy the endless dusk,

And the constant ringing of bells.

Zvetayeva (Russia)

The first chapter appearance

A ge Qing Qing

I feel pain every month when I have an attack. But strangely, the pain will dissolve into a winding channel, reaching the soul directly. Then toughness will become soft and warm, coming at me like a misty rain.

At that moment, I can always see my wet blushing face in the mirror. Look, your eyes are as clear as glass. Like a newborn baby. As if with a hint of blood gas, curled up in the mother's arms. There is no helplessness and hesitation in the world, only joy. Even with your eyes closed, your heart wrapped in blood can still hear the most beautiful sound.

When I was born, I was light. Less than five catties. My father gave me a homophonic name called Qingqing.

My name is Ge Qingqing. My family name is my father's family name. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for his father Ge Zhicheng to leave this house, and there was no news from then on.

I became a child without a father. I don't even remember my father's real image, but his thin back flashed like a sobbing song in my countless midnight dreams. I only saw my mother. She is like a branch climbing in a small corner, but she can't bloom the kind of flowers I once imagined. Fortunately, the branches and leaves never show signs of withering, just as I drink water in the living room every night and hear her sing? . I can never hear clearly what she is singing, except that her expression at that moment is cheerful and her mood is as vast as grassland. She is stuffing pills into her mouth. Her thin fingers slid like notes. At the moment of taking medicine, she was happy, just like an angel wandering in music.

Indeed, medicine is an angel for mothers. I'm the medicine she lives on.

I grew up in a single-parent family. With the inherent melancholy of a broken family. And somehow strong. That's no choice. Just like those glass-like eyes, even if they are immersed in water, they can still touch the years, cold and desolate.

I work in a tertiary first-class hospital in the city.

Since I worked in obstetrics and gynecology, I have become the dream angels in white. All these years have been work, grading and further study. To this day, the 36-year-old deputy chief physician,

In the hospital, I am also a star-studded backbone lover. When the Dean sees me, I always have a smiling face like Zhang Yueliang. The nurses below and? The little doctor is extremely flattering to me. Just looking at the cupboard in my office is enough to see the clue. Di Chin chocolate, pistachios and almonds in the United States, as well as Lancome perfume, Dior lipstick and Estee Lauder essence ............. in France, almost every few days, my wardrobe is like a magic box in a fairy tale book, and suddenly, it becomes many delicious, fun and beautiful things, colorful and unfolding like a picture scroll, which is pleasing to the eye. Of course, I won't enjoy these things myself in the end. I will still share them with all my colleagues, but the journey they spent with me always made me particularly warm and even convinced me that I was deeply loved by many people.

That small office is like my other home. I seem to prefer this place to my own home. Because it is connected with the hospital, we can see many people's ups and downs in its extension. It lets me know that I have been in a sea of people, being watched by many pairs of eyes, and I will never be lonely.

For so many years, loneliness is an incurable disease hidden deep in my soul.

I am a doctor, but I can't cure my illness. Although its attack was so secret and quiet, it bit my heart like a knife until my tears dripped. In my own home, my mother has passed away and I am the only one. One year before my mother died, I bought a new house with a loan and decorated it. I thought it would make my mother live comfortably for the rest of her life, but she was seriously ill and her life came to an abrupt end soon.

Mother has uterine cancer.

I consider myself an excellent obstetrician and gynecologist, but I can only sigh in the face of illness.

A few days before my mother died, Guangming held my hand when she came back, so serene. She said, "Doctors are not God. So, son, you are the best. But I regret not seeing you get married. How I hope you have a happy family and a man who can love you all your life. Son, even if I am in the sky, I will see this day. "

Now, she is in the sky. I was thinking, mom, where are you? Have you ever met a man who loves you all his life?

I may really inherit my mother. Thirty-six years old, still dreaming of love. Perfect man, perfect marriage. Reason tells me it doesn't exist, but I'm still waiting.

Like suffering. Like autumn water.

Only in the hospital. Shuttling through the crowd, my lonely heart is like riding on a huge ship, so it moves forward slowly and steadily. So I forgot everything. The gloom of childhood, the pain of growing up, and the inexplicable agitation that still lingers in my heart until today. Everything is gone without a trace. I am the kind, gentle, persuasive and tireless doctor with white wings. I bring good news to people in pain and give them the best medicine. I told them how wonderful life is, because with me, they are no longer sad and lonely.

Therefore, my patients have become my friends.

They will also give me gifts, invite me out for dinner or travel for free. I won't refuse blindly. Sometimes a happy answer is also a recognition of a friend's affection. I understand the gratitude of those patients who survived for rebirth. She needs a way to prove that her life still has infinite power. A doctor friend likes me, and I am moved by this title, because I am really a temperamental person. Isn't it? No matter how realistic the world is, those of us who are engaged in life-related businesses must understand that some things are spiritual, warm and beautiful, and like blood.

Is irreplaceable forever.

It was among those patient friends that I met Lin Huan.

To be exact, Lin Huan is my patient's husband.

I think it was last year. It seems like a long time for me.

It seems, it seems like a lifetime ago.

That day was a rainy but a little warm winter afternoon. He accompanied his wife to see my expert clinic. At first, I didn't remember him very much. I see too many such patients and their families every day. But at last, after some diagnosis, I suddenly realized the seriousness of the problem, with a heavy heart and chest tightness and breathlessness. Once I find that the patient has bad symptoms, I feel the same way, so I try to calm down, look at the woman in front of me and say, "What about your family? You need to be hospitalized immediately. "

This woman named Yin Xiaohui suddenly froze. Her hands trembled uncontrollably, and she said, "Is it serious?"

I opened the admission form without looking up. "Don't be too nervous first, and then make a diagnosis after a comprehensive examination." I looked up, "where is your husband? I saw him just now? Is it the tall thin man with glasses? "

"He ..." Yan Xiaohui stammered, her face whiter. When she turned away, I saw a dazzling white hair on her sideburns.

A man strode over, but I was not her husband intuitively. Sure enough, he looked sorry. "I'm really sorry. Director Lin has an important meeting this afternoon and has already left. I am his secretary. If you have anything, just tell me. "

"Tell you?" I'm a little annoyed. As a director, he can walk away. What could be more important than a wife's life? Finally, I swallowed my impulsive words.

"You will call her husband. Say that no matter how late it is today, you should come to me to get the hospitalization slip. I want my family to sign it in person! "

"I know." As soon as the secretary saw my expression, she realized the seriousness of the situation. But he still didn't call, but sent a short message.

I smiled at Yin Xiaohui. "Now please wait outside the door. When your husband comes, I will go through the hospitalization procedures for you. "

"Director ge. .............................................................................................................................................................................

I stared at her face. Suddenly found that for a woman in her forties, it should be regarded as a touching face. From the outline of her eyebrows and eyes, I can vaguely see her handsome appearance when she was young. Therefore, the heavy sadness in her eyes touched me a little. As I said, I am an emotional doctor, and the emotions of every patient will haunt my nerves. This time, there are no exceptions. However, the doctor's rationality reminded me that I quickly recovered my previous calm and composure.

"Just know after the operation. I don't think so. But you have to cooperate with the treatment. " I used a very gentle tone. "Now go outside. I want to call the next patient. "

Yin Xiaohui's eyes suddenly turned red. Maybe my particularly good tone made her feel ominous. The sensitive and fragile woman covered her mouth and tried not to cry. Her fingers were exposed in front of me, and the diamond ring on her hand came into view. It is in the shape of a butterfly, which is particularly chic and dazzling. The skin on her hands is much better than that on her face. Slender and slender, smooth and transparent. It exudes a little aristocratic and artistic atmosphere. It should be a woman who has always been liked by men. This association makes me feel a little sad involuntarily.

I met her lover at dusk. That's Lin Huan. Director Lin.

He looks a little tired and worried. After signing the hospitalization form, he went to the hospital. He came to my office again after everything was safe. By this time, I had taken off my white coat and put on my own clothes, ready to leave.

He knocked at the door and I let him in.

It is a man in his forties. He wears glasses and is tall, but he is handsome and slightly young, and there is nothing outstanding. He asked me almost the same question as Yin Xiaohui, and he said, "Director Ge, do you think it will be malignant ...

"It's hard to say." Facing my family, I feel very relaxed and at ease. "Everything will be known after the operation, but your family should prepare for the worst."

"The nurse said just now that the special needs ward is full. Can you help me? I want my lover to have the best environment to recuperate. "

"I'm afraid that won't do." I said bluntly, "The ward is really tight now. You are lucky to live in it. "

"But now she lives in a six-person ward, and I'm afraid she really won't have a good rest ..."

? "This I also have no choice. Sorry, all patients should be treated equally. "

We had a bad talk.

In the elevator, Lin Huan said, "Director Ge, why don't I drive you back and invite you to dinner?" I said no, I'll drive myself. I looked at his face and thought his far-fetched smile was a bit ridiculous. "You'd better go to the ward to take care of your wife."

When we parted in the ward, my cell phone rang. As soon as I saw it, it was Dean Liu of our hospital. I wonder what the dean wants to see me about at this time. As soon as I picked up the phone, the dean's order came through:

"GeGe, you go to the leadership of the municipal party committee special ward, prepare for Lin Huan, director of the family. Do it right away! "

I went back to the office upstairs, but I felt that my feet were too heavy to lift, as if they were filled with lead. I know I met a difficult patient, and it's a big patient. As a doctor, this is the last thing I want to see. I just want to see a doctor and save lives, so that patients can get rid of the haze of painful struggle and regain their health. This is my most satisfying thing. Therefore, I take every operation seriously, as meticulous as finishing every work of art, and the experience on the operating table is selfless for me. In the spotlight, I put my energy into myself as much as possible, just to see countless positive smiling faces, like applause. ...

However, from the day I stepped into the hospital, I knew I couldn't simply play such a role, just as I couldn't simply realize my dream. Just like now, I have to greet the people in the inpatient department with the instructions of the dean, just for a related family to break some rules set for patients again. But what can I do? Who told me that this little doctor is still under the jurisdiction of the dean? I was sulking when the knock at the door rang again.

I said, "Come in."

Black jacket, black pants, black shoes. Tall, slightly thin, with a pair of deep and unpredictable eyes behind his glasses. I recognized Lin Huan who just broke up with me. I was about to say something, but he spoke first.

His tone is sincere and firm. He said: "I want to ask Director Ge to take charge of my wife's operation this time. I believe that only Director Ge's ability will make everything go smoothly. "

"You don't know me at all. How can you trust me so much? " I said in a sarcastic tone.

"I checked your information online and know that you have rich qualifications, so ..."

"So I must promise you, must act according to your wishes? Maybe you have already greeted the dean? " I tried to calm myself down, but I said bluntly, "You can go to the special needs ward for retired cadres. However, if I operate on your lover, I have to listen to our dean's instructions myself. Otherwise, I have the right to dominate my doctor. We'll talk later. Now, you can take your lover to the door of the special needs ward, and the nurse will take you in. "

"That ... all right. However, I still trust you, Director Ge. "

? "You don't know me. Why do you believe me? " His flattery made me feel hypocritical. In short, I have a strong rejection of this so-called director. "Online introductions are often exaggerated. We have director Li, director Wang and so on. , are all excellent. In the future, you can stop looking for me. "

On this day, I went to the special needs ward where Lin Huan's wife Yin Xiaohui lived. Standing at the door, I couldn't help but stop. In the dim light, I saw a man feeding soup to a woman. It is a little hard for a man to hold a spoon in his wide hand, while a woman closes her eyes slightly, pouts slightly like a girl in love, and sometimes shows a shy expression. Because the light weakened the lines on her face, Yin Xiaohui, the patient at that moment, looked young and full of vitality, and the curly bangs on her forehead also outlined a somewhat sexy arc. On the contrary, the man with his back turned to me has some rickets on his back and a few strands of white hair on his head are so dazzling. I stood at the door and no one found me. The tranquility and serenity at that moment were beyond my imagination. I don't know why, but my eyes are a little wet. I am always inexplicably moved by such scenes, and some of my previous unhappiness seems to vanish in an instant. I almost walked downstairs at a brisk pace. My cell phone rang again before I went downstairs.

"Ge, Lin Huan family surgery, or you do it. My family says I only trust you. I have read the medical records, please arrange them as soon as possible. "

It's Dean Liu. I must obey the orders of the dean. Just put down the heart, nameless anger leaps. I wonder who this Lin Huan is. Just now, I was impressed by his good image, and in a flash, he put pressure on me through the dean?

I was standing at the gate of the hospital and suddenly I was at a loss. In the chilly wind of early spring, there is still a rustling chill. The phone rang again. It was Jing Li, a colleague in the hospital. He said, "Qingqing, tonight is my birthday. I made an appointment with you a month ago, remember? I am waiting for you at the mirage restaurant on Chunjiang Avenue. "

My Bora car just went for maintenance these two days. I found that I really forgot Jing Li's birthday. Are you too busy or don't care at all?

An Audi A6 slowly stopped in front of me. When the window rolled down, I was surprised to see a man wearing sunglasses. Sunglasses off, turned out to be just now, still taking good care of his wife Lin Huan.

He smiled and said, "Director Ge, I know you don't have a car today, so I will be a driver once and take you to your destination."

I looked at him in surprise. After hesitating for a few seconds, I got on the bus. I think it's reasonable to be bossed around by him several times today and let him be a driver. Strangely, I thought I would ask him a few words when I got on the bus, but at the moment when the car was speeding, I was like Lin Huan wearing sunglasses beside me, as if I were quickly immersed in a brand-new world.

The twilight outside the window hangs over my familiar city like smoke, and the lights that light up gradually are like jumping notes, but the melody that flows through it is inexplicably sad. I can't help feeling every night, which is closely related to my experience. The past is like a cup of coffee foam, bitter and dense, but still filled with fragrance.

?

?

At that moment, I smelled the faint smell of cologne on him, and remembered the scene I saw at the door of the special needs ward. Suddenly I found a kind of stability and warmth, hidden and winding, floating out from a corner of my heart until I reached the place where it lived silently.

?