The concept of "tiger mother" godson is challenged: my experience cannot be copied

This article, "Tiger Mother's Idea of Educating Children Encountered Challenges: My Experience Can't be Replicated", was reprinted in China News Network on February19 (liuxue86.com). According to a comprehensive report in The World Journal of the United States, China scholar Qin Baolian recently challenged the "tiger mother", and media reports in the United States, Britain, India and the Middle East used headlines such as "Tiger mother causes children's melancholy" and "Tiger mother should restrain", just like Why Chinese mother is better published by Chua Meier, a Chinese professor at Yale Law School more than a year ago, which quickly attracted global attention. Facing the challenge of Tiger Mother, Chua Meier emphasized that Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother is a personal memoir, and parents should teach students in accordance with their aptitude. "My experience is unrepeatable." Tiger mother Chua Meier thinks she has inherited her parents' "cultural tradition". The picture shows her parents' 50th wedding anniversary. (Provided by Amy Chua, American World Journal)

Qin Baolian, an assistant professor in Chinese Department of Michigan State University, found that China students are prone to anxiety. The picture shows her teaching her daughters to learn Chinese. (Provided by Qin Baolian, American World Journal)

Ma Bao challenges Huma: Family conflict plagues students in China.

Qin Baolian, an assistant professor of Chinese at Michigan State University, said in an interview that her research is not specifically aimed at the parenting style of tiger mothers. She began to study the psychological development and health problems of new immigrant children and adolescents five or six years ago. She said that new immigrant students often face obstacles in the process of adapting to the American educational, social and cultural system, while many parents are busy making a living and give little help to their children. The situation of children is mainly influenced by the family economic environment. In this study, China students from several gifted high schools in new york and Boston were selected. Family economy becomes a secondary factor, and family relationship, namely family conflict and family cohesion, has the greatest influence on their mental health.

In the first study, Qin Baolian selected 295 ninth-grade China students and 192 American students, and investigated their psychological status such as anxiety and depression, as well as their understanding of family conflicts and parental support. The results show that China students are more anxious and have more social problems than other students. Qin Baolian said: "This conclusion is not surprising, but the problem is that the anxiety of China students is caused by family relations, especially in their studies and education. China students say that there are many contradictions with their parents and little knowledge. When the influence of family conflict and family cohesion is excluded from the statistical analysis, there is no difference between the psychological state of China students and their peers. Simply put, family relationships affect children's mental health. "

In the second study, Qin Baolian conducted an in-depth follow-up interview with 18 China students. She found that the academic performance of children from China families is always the focus of debate. Students report that their parents nag all day, and their children are disappointed and angry when their grades are not good. A parent engaged in medical research said that children complained that they often heard parents say three words: "Have you finished your homework? Is there an exam? How about the exam results? " There are also students who worry that their parents always expect her to take the A exam, and they will sweat all over when they meet the exam.

Qin Baolian said that immigrant families in China "love to keep up with the joneses" and compare their children with their brothers and sisters, and with the children of neighbors, relatives and friends. If other children go to an Ivy League school, parents will ask their children to follow their example. "The light of others casts a shadow over the child's psychology." However, she said that this phenomenon is related to the survival needs of new immigrants in the United States. China's parents hope that their children can go to college and find an ideal job. They are also very concerned about their children's health and happiness and are full of sympathy for their hard work. Therefore, parents should pay attention to the way of communication with their children. They should not only be strict with their children, but also let them feel warm, supportive and caring.

Qin Baolian is worried that her research results will be "exaggerated" and promoted to "oppression" or "mental illness" of China students. She stressed that the study only revealed the contradiction between the traditional family rearing patterns of some immigrant students and their adaptation to American culture. She hopes that the research will attract the attention of parents and education circles, and that China students with good academic performance should not be regarded as model minorities, so that China students with mental health problems can get timely help.

Chua Meier: My experience can't be copied.

Qin Baolian challenged Tiger Mother. Chua Meier said that she didn't want to respond to media reports because she hadn't seen the research report. However, she stressed that "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother" is not a textbook for raising children, but a personal memoir. Parents should really teach students in accordance with their aptitude. "My experience is unrepeatable." Tiger mother's parenting style can't be used as a "guide to educating children" for China's parents.

Chua Meier said that her strict family education "is a supplement to the loose education in American schools". She cited statistics that American children spend 70% of their time watching TV, and a quarter of teenagers aged 13 have tried marijuana. The United States also has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the world. "In order to fight against such a social environment, I want to stick to the advantages of traditional education in China, study hard on self-discipline and do my best. I won't let my daughters spend the night at other people's houses because I don't know them at all. I only let Lulu attend such a party: I know their parents, who are responsible for preparing the party activities and providing music, food, movies and laughter, but without alcohol and marijuana, the children will have a good time and the party will be safe. "

In fact, Tiger Mother's two daughters attend many parties, and there are two tigresses at the school dance. Last Halloween, Tiger Mother held a big party at home and invited more than 40 friends of Lulu to attend. On Lulu 10' s birthday in the middle of October, Tiger Mother held a party for her in new york and invited many friends of 10 to go shopping and have fun.

Because of the rebellion of her second daughter Lulu, Chua Mei-er felt the crisis and was able to write "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother". One year, mother and daughter "called a truce", and Tiger Mother respected Lulu's wishes and gave up practicing violin to specialize in tennis. However, in the busy tennis match, Lulu took the initiative to pick up the violin. Last summer, she learned to play Tchaikovsky's violin concerto, and played a violin and piano duet with her sister Sophia at an engagement party with Cindy, her younger sister with Down syndrome in California. Moreover, Lulu was chosen as the lead violinist of the middle school orchestra. Tiger mother said, "This is really surprising, because she has stopped practicing violin for half an hour every two or three days. Perhaps the previous hard training finally paid off. "

Tiger mother's words are full of pride for her two daughters. "Sophia can speak fluent Chinese when interviewed in China, which is much better than me who needs Chinese translation. She also volunteered in China City to teach English to the elderly in China. Lulu plays tennis almost every weekend. She had a good time and won many awards. She got straight A's at school, and she also spent a lot of time doing community service. After returning from China, Lulu also decided to step up her study of Chinese. Chua Meier also revealed that she plans to go to China to "stay longer" this summer, hoping that her two daughters can further improve their Chinese. (Reporter: Cui Fang)

More information about studying in the United States, Britain, Australia and Canada