The fox of dirty jokes in classical Chinese

1. What are the original classical Chinese texts that can be used to force people to chat? I am too handsome to sleep every day.

Rich, willful translation: a family has a daughter, relying on the heart. Original: sleep * * * get up. Hello.

The days are short and the nights are long. Why not travel by candlelight? -"Nineteen Ancient Poems Less than a Hundred Years Old" Original: Scared my father to death Translation: My parents hanged themselves in the Southeast Branch when they heard the girl coming Original: Does your family know that you are hanging like this?

The male sword at the waist is three feet long, but your family is strict and kind. The ugly person is asleep, and the handsome person is still awake.

Donkeys and mules were sleeping soundly before the wind started. Original: drunk, too. Walking is decadent, and the center is intoxicated —— The Book of Songs Feng Wang Mi Li: My heart is so tired.

Translation: The shape is like a skeleton, and the heart is like ashes. -"Zhuangzi Know the North Tour" Original: I choose a dog to take the translation: the national disaster is the first, and sudden death.

-Cao Zhi's "White Horse" Original: My heart is about to collapse. Translation: Inner confusion, platform collapse. You city people are really good at translating: there is a play in the city, and the villagers laugh their hearts out. Say the important things three times. Translation: It's a long story. Post the user's "story of wind returning to snow" I know everything, but it is useless. It's better to have a hard waist.

-"Awakening the world and saying that Jin Hailing indulges in death", the original text "does not need stories and articles, but needs to support the waist." The world is so big, I want to see the translation: the sky is boundless, I want to see the original: the dog died. The poor cross the dog's sinus and the road doesn't fit.

Original: You can obviously eat by your face, but you have to rely on your talent. Chinese children are full of curiosity. What they like is not red clothes, but cleverness.

Don't lie to me, because I don't read much. Don't lie to me, because I can't read. It is safe on earth. It's terrible for you, so why can't you go to heaven? You are omnipotent and unpredictable, and Hu can't ascend to heaven and fall into poverty.

I got an arrow in the knee. Money is hard to earn, but shit tastes bad.

Baosi smells bad, but Jinbao is hard to find. If you live too long, you can see everything. There are wonderful flowers every year, and the longevity is unusual.

Original text: Ten strokes refused to translate: tears fell into my eyes, wishing I could meet before I got married-Zhang Ji's Ode to a Woman Original text: Spare tire translation: The willow tree in Zhangtai has been broken by others; The flowers in Du Xuan haven't changed their former degree. -Qu You's "Biography of Cui Cui" Original: The lower limit of the translation show: beggars sell wealth, but show their poverty.

-Yuan Mei's "Garden Recipe" Original translation: I only clear the turbidity of the world, but I hate my medicine. Take off your pants and don't expect this thing. If you are serious, you will lose. What are you fighting for in Shi Huo? Don't be serious in the snail's corner. If you are busy shaking hands, you can shoot Sirius with a long arrow. I have no choice but to get familiar with my hands.

-"Ouyang Xiu sells oil Weng" Original: bursting translation: Black pine forest comes to the horse, and Huanglongfu tide suddenly arrives. -Pu Songling's "Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio Huang Jiulang", the original text: "The black pine forest comes to the horse, which is solid and safe; How can we resist the sudden tide in Huanglongfu? It is advisable to break the root of its thorns and block the road to meeting. "

Evil spirits laugh translation: crazy children evil spirits Shao, care about my laughter. With waist-length hair, can you marry me? Chang Huan wears makeup and marries you? At that time, the Tathagata smiled, released the big bright cloud, let go of the golden arm, dropped a trillion feet, and held this pillar in his hand, saying, "OK."

This painting is too beautiful for me to see. Translation: the best is the best, and it is unbearable to see it.

I just want to be a beautiful man quietly. Tired of vulgarity, peerlessness and independence.

I'll take you, you take the money. I hold my hand and I hold my axe.

Original: waterfall sweat. Sitting on the ground, you are sweating like a pig.

-Liu Yiqing's "Shi Shuo Xin Yu" Original: Kneeling. Knee forward and grab the ground with your head.

* * Silk will eventually attack Japan. Translation: princes and princes will meet. What do you want? -"Historical Records Chen She Family" Original: Cute is Justice Translation: Beautiful city, beautiful color, so as to build a famous place. The tragic experience of my girlfriend and childhood friends is translated as follows: today, the new official is on fire, and the new official dare not laugh or cry, which is difficult to test.

-Princess Lechang's "Farewell to Self-explanation" Original: Don't care about these details. If you don't die, you won't die Why don't you understand?

-Wang Jian's "Kung Fu Crossing the River" Original: It makes sense, but I am speechless. Call a spade a spade and bow and say yes.

-Post the user's original text: show love, quickly translate death: love without hiding, bring your own death. I will look at you quietly and pretend to translate: I will often look at the crab coldly and see how long you have been running amok.

-Ming Dynasty folk song "The Capital is Yan Songyu" Author: Lv Zhonghao Link:/question/39095908/answer/8014161Source: Zhihu is copyrighted by the author. Please contact the author for authorization. Excerpted from Zhihu.

Be a forced person ~ adopt if you like. Thank you.

2. What are the funny self-created paragraphs in classical Chinese? 1: There was a fish named Kunda in the north of Ming Dynasty.

One pot can't be stewed.

Turn it into a bird, called Pumbaa-sized bird.

We need two barbecue grills.

A polysaccharide and a slightly spicy.

Have a bottle of snowflakes.

Let's face the world bravely.

2. An official sitting in court occasionally farts and says "refreshing". Officials don't know, and they mistakenly think that they are rewarding officials, hoping to win their favor. They knelt down and said, thank you for your reward!

3: The monkey died, saw Hades and asked for a replacement. Wang said, "If you want to be a man, you must pull out all your hair." He's the one who told the hag to do it and pulled out one. The monkey is in great pain. Wang smiled and said, "Bastard, how can you be a man without money?"

4. Isn't it a pleasure to have friends come from afar and whip them dozens of times to drive them away from the hospital?

5. Confucius said: It's not appropriate to hit with bricks. It depends on your face. You can't shout any more. Your right hand is almost finished with your left hand, and the brick is almost broken with your shoes. You are dying, but you are not dead. How can you be alone with your friends? It's an honor.

Classical Chinese is a processed written language based on ancient Chinese. The earliest written language based on spoken language may have been processed. Classical Chinese is an article composed of written language in ancient China, mainly including written language based on spoken language in pre-Qin period. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, no articles were invented to record characters, but bamboo slips, silks and other things were used to record characters, and silks were expensive, bamboo slips were huge and the number of words recorded was limited. In order to record more things on a roll of bamboo slips, unimportant words were deleted. Later, when "paper" was used on a large scale, the habit of using "official documents" among the ruling classes had been finalized, and the ability to use "classical Chinese" had evolved into a symbol of reading and literacy. Classical Chinese comes from vernacular Chinese, characterized by writing based on words, paying attention to the use of allusions, parallel prose, and neat melody, including strategies, poems, words, songs, stereotyped writing, parallel prose and other styles. The classical Chinese in modern books are generally marked with punctuation marks in order to facilitate reading and understanding.

3. Why is the classical Chinese "Zhihu" in Qing Dynasty difficult to understand? This phenomenon does exist, but it cannot be generalized.

The obscure classical Chinese, such as the wolf in a serial, is indeed more difficult to understand than many classical Chinese in the pre-Qin period. Mainly because classical Chinese is also a kind of writing after all, and writing is used to record language. If the ancients intend to create a word to record what they say every day, then the words and grammar created by the ancients must be consistent with their daily words, otherwise they will find trouble for themselves, which is not in line with their purpose of coining words.

In other words, in fact, at least in the pre-Qin period, classical Chinese was the vernacular Chinese that people said every day. The Analects of Confucius, for example, is that Confucius' disciples remember what the teacher said before his death and record it, which is equivalent to the record of Confucius' daily speech. So at that time, only some vocabulary usage of classical Chinese was unfamiliar to us, and some words didn't change much and didn't even need translation.

However, after the Qin and Han Dynasties, with the gradual evolution of spoken language, language and writing gradually deviated from each other and became bigger and bigger. By the Qing Dynasty, they were completely different. The spoken language of the Qing Dynasty is very close to ours now, but the classical Chinese needs special study, which is suppressed by feudal culture and imprisoned by thoughts, reaching the peak of the eight-part essay in the imperial examination, resulting in many pedantic literati deliberately writing the classical Chinese very difficult and unable to speak human words. Deliberately choose those extremely obscure words to express knowledge. For example, Kong Yiji in Lu Xun's novels is an example. There are several ways to write fennel to show off fennel beans. Can such a person write classical Chinese well?

To put it simply, what was said at that time was the pre-Qin classical Chinese, and it was not necessary to write it out in words. In the case of the separation of spoken and written language, later generations wrote classical Chinese to write written language, and some people went to extremes in the Qing Dynasty, which is why some classical Chinese in the Qing Dynasty were extremely difficult to understand without speaking human words.

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