After studying abroad: your way of thinking has changed.

After studying abroad: your way of thinking has changed.

According to the data of the Ministry of Education, from 2000 to 20 15, the growth rate of the number of returned overseas students basically kept above 20%. In 2008 and 2009, its growth rate even exceeded 50% at one time.

Studying abroad is becoming more and more popular. In the process of studying abroad, many people's ways of thinking, world outlook and values have been subtly influenced. How many times have you been shot at these changes in thinking habits I mentioned below?

Tolerance for truly disadvantaged groups

In daily life, we can see people's goodwill towards vulnerable groups, such as perfect facilities and employment opportunities for the disabled. Discrimination against disabled people will be despised by mainstream values. By chance, I met a lady whose right leg was amputated in a car accident many years ago. Now she has been using artificial limbs and looks no different from normal people. A beautiful lady, a husband who loves herself, a pair of children and a decent job (white-collar medical worker). I don't see any inferiority in her face, and she doesn't mind telling me what caused her amputation. Her life is no different from other middle-class families.

I just lamented how lucky she was to be born in such a country. Disabled people are rarely seen in the streets of China, and it is not easy to see any jobs, such as supermarket cashiers and hotel receptionists. If they lose a leg, it won't affect their work, or even an arm, it won't affect their single-handed keyboard. If the facilities are perfect, their travel is not very difficult. In addition, no one will feel that marrying a woman with artificial limbs has suffered losses or been pointed out.

Look at the advantages and disadvantages at home and abroad more objectively.

(Advantages and disadvantages of a democratic and average society)

Life will never be as perfect as heaven. You can't have your cake and eat it. In western countries, because labor is expensive, some services are not very convenient, such as express delivery, such as finding an electrician, a repairman or a moving company. But if you understand the power of European trade unions, you will understand the fundamental reason behind this. A relatively fair society is bound to make sacrifices in some aspects, so many things can be done by itself. Including closing the store in advance, it is precisely to protect the interests of this part of the workers that the vast number of consumers have endured. The disadvantages of democracy include weak execution, no result in arguing about a problem, and prolonging the specific implementation cycle.

The same is true of white-collar workers. The salary of executives in large enterprises is at most five times that of small secretaries. The higher the salary, the higher the income tax, even less than five times after tax deduction. This phenomenon will "destroy" the sense of superiority of management. Compare the young employees who just graduated into the enterprise with the president. It's just that your car is more expensive than mine. A car is just a means of transportation. Many young people buy a used car to drive in college. Looking at hundreds of cars in the parking lot behind the company, there are piles of Audi Benz Land Rover. Maybe some of them are owned by people who just graduated. There are also many car lovers in Europe, but many people really regard it as a hobby. There is really nothing to show off without driving Bentley and Maserati.

As a result, many middle-class people, especially women, are not very enterprising, so women in Europe are actually much worse than women in China. If there are still many men in Europe who are enterprising in their careers in pursuit of their own values, many women even look forward to taking maternity leave. Therefore, people like me who don't work hard (relative to domestic female white-collar workers) seem to be more motivated than local women.

More and more feel that the earth is a village.

Once you get used to traveling across the country, it is common to travel halfway around the world. The place I go is not necessarily a developed area, but also Africa and South America. What attracts me is to see different customs in different corners of the world. When I didn't go abroad five years ago, I always felt that traveling, living or working abroad were out of reach. Now I feel that there are many choices, and living and working in any country that speaks Chinese or English will not be a big problem. When you decide to travel, you can look at the map of the world and make a choice.

Independent thinking and critical thinking should be handled flexibly according to the occasion when returning to China.

I will never listen to other people's advice, especially in the era when information technology is so advanced. It may also be related to the nature of my analyst's work. It is easy to find out the loopholes in a report or article, and also learn to analyze problems from different angles, so as to analyze unreasonable places and gradually form your own way of thinking. In order to adapt to the environment, I will not express too many unique views after returning home. In fact, some unique viewpoints don't look so mainstream in a place like Zhihu, but when they return to the people, they will look different and out of place. So in order not to let my relatives and friends at home think that I am too axial, I will adjust my tendency to speak appropriately, so that everyone will think that I am a grounded person.

Even when my husband communicates with my relatives and friends (of course, translation is needed), he will objectively say a lot of good things about China and praise the General Secretary. These ways of the world are well known, not too deliberate, but only selective statements. My husband does have a lot of positive views on China, so with the growth of age, I think an idiom of China can be perfectly explained, that is, the outside is the inside. After all, the actual domestic environment cannot be equated with Zhihu. There are many opinions, and it is meaningless to express them, because everyone's environment is different from yours, so there will be no personal understanding. You can find many colleagues on Zhihu who can understand your point of view.

Friendship is the fate on the way to the natural process of interpersonal relationship.

There is a question that many people care about-"How do good friends fade away?" After going abroad, I feel more empathy for this problem. From the initial confusion to the current indifference, everyone's mode of making friends is different. Some people are used to staying in a circle, but this model is difficult for overseas parties, so they don't care about long-term interpersonal relationships now. Some people, if they can walk a path with you in this life, should cherish it. If you part ways at a certain intersection, you might as well miss each other. Maybe you will meet again every week.

Now we live in an era when social networks are so developed. In fact, most of us don't contact, so I don't blame time and space, because you don't want to contact. If you want to communicate, WeChat can send a voice and a short message every second, so the degree of contact with people around you is your own choice. Some childhood friends may not be in touch for ten years, and there is no gap between us. Some people who are close at hand may block your circle of friends inexplicably. So in this era, the distance between people is more ideological and spiritual.

Before going abroad, I went to Lijiang alone, and became companions with strangers in the same field. On the eve of going abroad, I became partners with my classmates. After studying for a year, I got to know friends who traveled together, friends who met at work, and friends who met at a party in China. On October 20 12, I went to Moscow for a business trip and met a junior high school student I hadn't seen for years in a foreign country. On October 20 13, I went to North Africa for a business trip and met another junior high school student. Going back to China to accompany my husband to meet old friends who have settled in different cities, for me, these short gatherings are very beautiful, so friendship is fate on the road for me.

Since you are on the road, you don't have to care about any circles. There is no unbreakable circle in your life, unless you have a group of people who live in the same place as you, your own life has not changed much. Sometimes it makes sense to communicate across circles occasionally. Knowing more about other people's lives can also avoid being narrow-minded.

Privacy awareness is enhanced. I don't like to pry into other people's privacy actively, and I don't like others to pry into my own privacy.

Every time I go back to China, I will be asked some personal questions, such as salary, what car to drive, what room to live in, and when I want to have children, I will start to feel uncomfortable reflexively. But since I take care of my aunt and uncle's face, I will try my best to answer even if I feel uncomfortable. They mean no harm, sometimes they are just curious. I don't like answering these questions, which has nothing to do with my class, my income or not, and whether my job is glamorous or not.

Do as you would be done by. Now that you have returned to China, naturally you won't ask others such questions. Maybe people don't mind my asking, but it's a social habit. When communicating with westerners, most people have * * *, so you can generally ask each other's occupation. However, sometimes they are very careful. For example, they will take the initiative to avoid asking her any questions about their career, because they know through other channels that their wife has recently emigrated and has no stable job at present, which is out of goodwill to avoid the embarrassment of the other party.

Women's sense of independence is enhanced, and the concept of gender discrimination is more clear.

Before going abroad, I just felt that I wanted to be independent, but I was often influenced by the domestic social environment. I think some things should be undertaken by men. After living abroad for a long time, when I finished my studies independently and my career gradually rose steadily, I felt that life should be in my own hands, and it didn't matter whether I had a partner or not. After marriage, I also work as a team, and the two * * * share the responsibility of the family, so the respect I get is far-reaching.

After returning to China these two times, I gradually found that there are many outstanding and independent women in our generation, which is very gratifying. I still remember that two or three years ago, I accidentally read the legal provisions on gender discrimination in the Employee Contract Law here, and I felt as if I had never been educated. Later, I learned the reason why male employees in western enterprises are cautious. Even if you praise beautiful colleagues, you should be careful with your words to prevent any sexual suggestion. If you are a leader, you can't ask the other person to pour coffee or do you a small personal favor just because he is a female subordinate, let alone use your power to seek benefits for the female subordinate. These things are not completely absent in western society, but they are not accepted by mainstream values.

The awareness of equal communication is enhanced, and people are encouraged to express their independent views and opinions.

When I was discussing my thesis with the professor when I was a master, I was occasionally praised by the professor, which impressed me deeply, because the professor was obviously encouraging students to do so, and even accepting students to challenge his point of view. In other social activities, there is no generation gap when chatting with people in their sixties, and sometimes they forget their age completely, but this is related to their personality. Some peers who are not good at chatting will talk too much, but for some people with good social skills, age is not an obstacle at all.

There are two reasons. First, the gap between Britain's society decades ago and the present is far smaller than that brought about by the social changes in China at the same time, so the ideological gap between the previous generation and this generation is not too big. Second, western society advocates equality, without the influence of Confucian culture in East Asian countries. They are independent individuals and have no concept of the older generation and the younger generation. For example, the presidents of most of our departments will turn to our seats from time to time to chat with us, without any shelf or any high position.

A New Understanding of the Concept of the Poor in the West

Due to the high welfare of European society, compared with many developing countries and poor countries, there is no real poverty in the west, so naturally, some homeless people who are drinking and taking drugs in the streets and doing nothing gradually stop showing any sympathy. Because I come from China, I at least know what a real poor person is, so I never give such people change when I meet them on the streets of England, because they may buy wine when they give money, but if they meet people who really need food, they will simply not give money to buy food.

Here is a personal experience. My husband and I met a man with swollen eyes in the street and said that his wallet was robbed and he needed our help. So we took him to a nearby restaurant to order his own food and reminded him not to order beer. Who knows that he still ordered a set meal with beer, but my husband despised him and said he couldn't order that, so he ordered hamburgers and drinks. Later, it aroused his mood, and the man began to cry, which probably meant that I was garbage and you bought me food. So these people look pathetic, but X can't change eating X. Naturally, I don't believe that a considerable proportion of people in this country still live below the poverty line as advocated by western extreme leftists. Because the lower the social class, the more you can enjoy the maximization of national welfare, at least you can ensure food, clothing and shelter, so it is not comparable to the poor in China, and the poor talents in China are truly worthy of sympathy.

The normal mentality of material desire

Without a competitive environment, there is naturally a lack of excitement. If you spend 10,000 yuan on a bag and take it to the company on Monday, no one will notice, then the money is "not worth it". It's enough to be elegant and decent here, but I still have to go back to China. People will pay attention to it when you return to China. In view of the short time to return to China, bear with it. In Europe, it is not difficult to buy things with reasonable prices but good quality. More and more people like things with similar quality but strong comfort and practicality.

Western media are not all fair and objective. I hope my future generations can learn everything.

Have an objective and rational understanding of other cultures.

Even if your descendants are likely to be born and educated here, they must be cultivated to have a deep understanding of oriental culture, just to broaden their minds, and it is worthwhile to look at the problem from various angles. Many young people in Europe are ignorant and know little about the world outside the West. For example, they are misled by pro-independence elements and biased media (including BBC). For example, during the general secretary's visit to Britain, some media always emphasized some people who were not worth mentioning at all. I was at the scene and couldn't see where those people were. I even said that the China volunteers at our scene were paid by the embassy. These are obviously not facts. Therefore, people who blindly believe in western media are ignorant, but given the status of BBC in Britain, ordinary people are easily misled if they lack knowledge.

Mr. Wang has read a lot of books about China, Korea and Japan, and has formed his own profound understanding and sentiment about the world outside the West. Therefore, watching BBC news naturally has its own set of understanding and will not be misled, but there are still a few people like him, so I hope that future generations can have this awareness and have a broad vision from an early age, which is positive for the formation of national values. If one day I can't go back to China to do something, I hope future generations can have such an opportunity, even if it's a year's exchange and a period of work.

I think children in developed countries are very happy.

I have no children yet, but most of the children around me, whether from China or local friends, can grow up carefree. Needless to say, the quality of air, water and milk powder food is very healthy and strong. I think the parents here are also doing their best to prepare the party for their children, but only if the parents here have a better work-life balance and naturally have more time to spend with their children. In school, teachers can't talk too much, and their status is not high (of course, this also has disadvantages). The whole environment allows children to naturally cultivate enough self-confidence.

Although western countries themselves began to question their education system, I think children before junior high school deserve such a carefree life. This stage is extremely important for children's physical and mental health in the future, so I won't say much about the domestic situation. In short, I feel sorry for the children in China (not only the problem of learning burden, but also the physical and mental health cultivated by the big educational environment).

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