1 funny jokes

1. A bird in a cage hates Guan Yu and cannot be Zhang Fei; In human life, it is even more necessary to be Wukong if you want Bajie. 2, a pair of men and women, the woman said that your friend XXX took advantage of me and touched me mm. After hearing this, the man was furious and said, He's so fucking quick to take revenge! 3. Fang Zhouzi said that Chyi Chin had never seen a wolf, so how could he write the song Wolf? Chyi Chin admitted that the original name of the song was indeed Husky. 4. I have to say that there is a book that really expounds the topics of inspiration, horoscopes, spirituality, health, workplace, psychology, marriage and love, and this is saint seiya the Saint. 5. "Qiao Feng! If you are not a Khitan, how can you have a wolf tattoo on your chest? " Qiao Feng listened to laughing face upwards, and brushed aside his collar to reveal his chest. "My tattoo is obviously a husky, which is the symbol of my beggar's dog stick! S ratio! " 6. It's better to lie down and smoke a cigarette when you're happy when you go up and fade when you come down-a jingle I just saw. Even so, the man, an animal, won't remember for a long time, and it's always the little head that commands the big head to fool around ... 7. In the past, a poor family couldn't afford to eat vegetables, so my father bought a piece of salted fish and hung it on the wall. When eating, the family took a look at the salted fish and had a bite. Once, the younger son complained angrily, "Dad, I just looked at it more!" " Father said, "Let him go! Salty to death! " 8. Ten outstanding figures in China: ① Children of other people's families; 2 other people's fathers; 3 other people's mothers; 4 other people's husbands; 5 other people's wives; 6 other people's father-in-law; 7 other people's mother-in-law; 8 Other people's companies; Pet-name ruby other people's leadership; Attending other people's employees. 9. The government is the boyfriend of the people. If you tell your boyfriend: ① Why don't you care about me? (2) want you to tube me? Give me an explanation! I won't listen if I don't listen. Everything you say is a lie! ⑤ Look at her boyfriend! 1. A female classmate had a strict family education. She made an appointment with her classmates to go out, and her father or mother would secretly follow, making sure that it was not the opposite sex, and that it was not a no-nonsense talent who came back. Slowly, she also found this out ... Now she and her girlfriend are very happy ... 11. My roommate tried to jump directly from the bed to the bunk, and as a result, she made a big split and fell off because of a visual error ... She rolled around on the ground in pain and came to a sentence: Fortunately, I am not. 12. A classmate was caught by the class teacher when he was sleeping at night, and he looked unhappy after waking up. The teacher asked him what he was dissatisfied with, and replied: I was dreaming about this exact question, and you woke me up just looking at the paper! After listening to this, the teacher looked innocent: Why don't I cover your bed and you get the college entrance examination questions for the students this year. 13. Female colleagues are afraid of spiders, and they all cry. I ran to another female colleague, opened my arms and asked, "I am a spider, I am a spider, are you afraid of me?" My female colleague said weakly, "I'm not afraid of pigs ..." I didn't know how to put down my waving arms. I turned around and heard baskets of laughter from behind ... 14. I was close to my father when I was a child, and he taught me everything by hand, including going to the toilet. When I went to the toilet two days ago, I suddenly found that my habit of going to the toilet was different from others. It turned out that he taught me to shake after urinating. The urine shakes clean. I suddenly realized that I might be the only girl in the world who wants to shake after peeing! 15. Today, when I was learning to sing Facebook, a children's shoe was suddenly inspired. It roared: Dou Erdun with blue face, Cao Nima, Guan Gong with red face, and violence. Chrysanthemum ... Then, the teacher heard it and told him to make up two more sentences. This guy thought for two seconds and sang: Purple King, playing dota, green devil, super god! The whole class laughed decisively, and the teachers all laughed. 16. In class today, the teacher said: Now all the rich, powerful and knowledgeable people in China have emigrated, but why do those of us who have no money and no power stay in China? Because Mencius once said: poverty cannot be moved! 17. At noon, I fished the WeChat bottle and got a voice bottle. At first glance, it was more than forty seconds, thinking that it was a beautiful woman singing again, and then I opened it. It turned out to be that kind of uh-huh (you know) voice, and suddenly it came to life, Nima, it's the first time to catch up with this live broadcast! After listening for a while, it was quite strange. I don't know why only men groaned. When it was more than 3 seconds, suddenly a deep male voice whispered, "Help me get the paper." Then another man next to him whispered, "Help yourself." "I have a mobile phone in my hand and I can't touch it." 18. In college, there was a big dressing mirror in the boys' dormitory in the class. The boys' dormitory always played football, so the mirror cracked, but it was not broken. One day, the class was about to start, and the study Committee member took a look in the mirror, held it in the mirror and shouted loudly: It's so handsome! The mirror cracked! 19. Snow White was persecuted by the queen and fled to a small house in the deep forest. The owner of the house was seven dwarfs. After listening to Snow White's story, they left her behind. Later, the princess ate poisonous apples and the seven dwarfs put her in a crystal coffin to guard her day and night until the prince's love kiss saved her life. This story tells us that diaosi's kindness to the goddess is nothing more than paving the way for Gao Shuai's appearance. 2. Every day in school, there is such a ghost story: pointing to a vacant seat and asking the children's shoes next to it, "Children's shoes, is there anyone here?" "yes!"