How does a woman grasp a good man?

My current boyfriend and I have been together for more than three months. He was the one who chased me. At the beginning, I didn’t agree to be together. He also found many reasons to convince me, including official statistics. Data and all, he is a very good person, kind and upright. The school I graduated from is very good. It is one of the two famous schools in the United States. My mother is engaged in art, mainly organizing art exhibitions and painting herself. My father used to be the vice president of a company and is now in sales. I don’t know the specific level. His family was either a rich second generation, or an ordinary family, and his family’s education was very different from what I knew before. He needed to find an internship to earn money during the summer vacation, and then used the money he earned to pay the rent at his parents' house; he took a year off from college to experience life in another country, so he graduated a year late. When he graduated, his father Mom said, because you went to college for an extra year, we only prepared four years of tuition for you, so you need to pay the tuition back to us for the extra fifth year, so he is still paying back his parents' "loan" ". He graduated with three bachelor's degrees and now works in a very good consulting company. He usually has many hobbies. He likes beer and usually makes his own wine. He likes skiing and takes a week off to ski when he is free. I say this because I feel that he is really different from the people I used to know. I have been in love no less than four or five times. In the previous love process, I was able to handle it with ease, but when I saw him, I couldn't guess him at all. , there is absolutely no experience to be learned. From January to June 2 this year, I have been very busy and can only see him once a week, because before I decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend, I had already told him that I would meet him in the first half of this year. He's very busy, so he's okay with that. Every weekend he would take the initiative to text me and ask me to meet him. Sometimes when I didn't go out with him on a Friday because I was rushing to meet schedule, he would be unhappy and said that I should balance work and rest, and there was no one You can keep studying and working. He doesn't like texting or chatting on the phone very much. The purpose of his calling and texting is to ask me to go out and play. We are very happy when we are together, and I am also very happy. We laugh every time and we have a great time getting along. He would find all the jokes I told funny, even if they were cold jokes, and we would discuss many professional issues. That time we talked for a long time about how to select a statistical sample. I think we can talk very well. I like him very much and feel that I would be very happy and lucky to marry him. Because my time was very tight in those few months, I basically didn’t have time to hang out with my friends except to see him, so I never hung out with his friends in the past few months, nor did I let him play with him. My friends came out to play. He was very dissatisfied with this and complained for a long time, saying that I was introverted and unwilling to interact with his friends. It took me a long time to explain to him that I really wanted to meet his friends, but during that time, apart from hanging out with him, I really spent the rest of my time studying. Because I have always felt that the more you try to catch someone, the faster you will lose them. So I usually try to restrain myself from contacting him every day. I feel that if a man really likes you and misses you, he will definitely take the initiative to contact you. However, our highest record was five days without contact, because he went back to visit his parents that weekend. On the fifth day, I couldn't help it anymore and took the initiative to call him. He was still in the car when he came back. , he was actually very happy to receive my call and said, ah! I haven't talked to you for a long time! How great to receive your call! This happened a second time after that. In fact, I told him that every time we didn't contact each other for several days, I felt very uneasy and felt like something had happened between us. A few days after saying this, he took the initiative to send me a text message, but he may not be good at this kind of text message chat. The content of the message was to ask me why the weather was a bit cold that day. The way he treated text messages and phone calls confused me. He said that he didn’t contact his good friends or parents. They only called him. He said that if you want to talk to me, just call me. Ah, I'd love to take your call any time. He said that there were times when he wanted to call me, but he thought about it and forgot about it. He didn't want to fall in love with someone quickly. In fact, I felt very uncomfortable when he said this. So, I said that I am also the kind of person who only likes me, so what do you think we should do? He said, let's help each other overcome this shortcoming. That day we talked about what if I find a job that is not in this city. He said that his company has offices in many cities, and he might be able to transfer to the city where I want to go. I originally thought this was a good sign and thought that we both had considerations for the future. But after I got the job in City L yesterday, I asked him what he thought. He said it was pretty good. I asked him when he planned to go there. City L, he said to wait for you to settle down there for half a year, and then I was very worried and said, if we are in different places, it will be easy for us to break up because you are not good at keeping in touch. Then he said: Then maybe the boy from L city will be very good too, it's a blessing in disguise. After hearing this sentence, my heart suddenly went cold. I was very unhappy at the time, but he felt that these were just trivial matters and there was no need to worry about what would happen a year later (I only returned to L city in October, and with the stable half-year period, it was almost a year from now).

The next day I still felt uncomfortable, so I called him. He might have drunk a little too much at the time. He was asked too many questions by me and replied, "I probably won't go there with you. I'm working very well here now." , why should I go? And I don’t trust you yet. I haven’t told you anything about myself. I need more time to get to know you. We have only been together for three months, and I haven’t had many opportunities to see you in these three months. You. I felt really uncomfortable at the time. It turned out that he didn’t trust me, and he didn’t like me that much. However, he said he wanted to go with me first, and I didn’t force him to go. Why did it happen later? So again. Also, he usually makes a lot of plans for the future, such as opening a bar, or going to study for an MBA after working for two years, maybe going to London or Shanghai or the United States or Singapore. But I was not included in any of his plans. When he told me this happily, I actually felt very sad. He didn't even consider me. I think this means that he doesn't care about me at all. And every time I say: Hey, I miss you a little, he never replies that I miss you too, he just asks me, wow, when, or wow, that's so sweet of you to say that. He said that he likes me very much, likes to be with me, and thinks that we are a good match. When he was with my friends, my friends said that he liked me quite a lot. I originally thought that he liked me very much, but now I I really don’t feel at ease in my heart. I always doubt him. I always feel that we will break up in October when I go to L city, and he will not be too sad or sad. Instead, he will tell me, It's okay, there are good boys over there, go ahead and find another one. I feel so uncomfortable thinking about it, I don’t know what to do. I like him very much, but at the same time I am very contradictory. On the one hand, I think that if we are destined to break up, then there is no point in being together now, it is better to break up early; on the other hand, I think if I work harder, no matter how much If you pay a little more and put more thought into it, he will like me more and won't say anything like a blessing in disguise. I personally think the current situation is caused by your lack of attraction to him. This doesn't mean you are bad, but it's just that for a young boy like him who is still interested in conquering the world, it's hard for him to stop for a girl. It's like saying that a person still likes to play with piss and mud, and he is not interested if you give him the best diamond in the world. Of course, if it is easily available, he will not object to taking it first, or taking it first, but judging from his plan, his current interest is not in you. If you need a stable relationship within two or three years, I guess. A woman wants to show her high value and grasp a good man. Do you know how to do it? Then you have to overcome your own instincts, suppress your little girl mentality, and show a woman's special gentle attitude. Why? Because when girls are in love, they can't help but be attached to each other, want to bind each other, and want to rely on each other; but most of the time, boys always want sex passionately, but it is difficult to give them marriage. So if you want him to overcome his nature and give you a future, you must first overcome your own nature and act distant but attractive. What is the specific performance: that is, you must know how to speak softly and pretend to be gentle. For example, if he talks about getting an MBA, you say: With your qualifications, getting an MBA is not the same thing. He said open a bar, you just say yes, yes, if we haven't separated by then, I can help you do whatever you want. Or if he says he wants to go to Singapore and the United States, you just say: It’s really good there. Many friends are there. I’ve also considered immigrating and checked a lot of information. My mother said before that they hope I go to the UK, because the UK is blablabla. . In short, as long as he has his own whims or tests you, just say things that make him happy. Don't pour cold water on him, don't ask him to consider you, and don't seem to want to interfere too much in his future life. For another example, when he said, "I don't want myself to like someone quickly," did you feel like you were being deceived and at a disadvantage? At this time, you must HOLD your emotions and tell him: "So it turns out that you can no longer control your emotions when facing me? I always thought that you didn't love me so deeply." Or say: "I also feel that the relationship between us is developing too fast. There are many things that we haven't understood each other yet. It turns out that you feel the same way. I hope everyone can have the opportunity to get to know each other better." What you want to say is neither soft nor hard, nor humble nor overbearing. Don't beg. , don't be sentimental, but then you can punish him for a few days and find an excuse to make him unable to find you for a while. In addition, if he doesn't call you, just endure it. If you are really unhappy, go and hang out with your girlfriends. Tell your girlfriends how bad your boyfriend is, reveal the truth about you as an unlucky person, and pave the way for public opinion about breaking up. , if one day you break up and he still comes to see you, your bestie will support you. If he doesn't call you for more than 15 days, you can treat yourself as single and it's time to go on blind dates and meet new boyfriends. Having said so much, I don’t know if you can summarize the rules. A general principle requires you to be soft-spoken and show weakness, and not to appear too dependent on the other party. At the same time, you must understand deep down in your heart: This man is probably unreliable, and it is basically impossible for him to give you a lifelong commitment. When necessary, if you encounter a good next player, you should replace him without hesitation. This is what you should strive for. Of course, there are many easy and comfortable feelings in the world, just like the one you had before.

But why are you in this situation? All I can say is that you chose an opponent who doesn't like you and is difficult to deal with. This man doesn't like you very much. Although he says he likes you, his love is too thin, like a piece of white sugar in a glass of water, not enough to make you feel sweet. That's for sure if he says he likes to be with you. When a girl is young and beautiful, who wouldn't want to be with her? If you are willing to spend this time and energy to accompany an old man, you don't know how much it can be converted into cash. You must realize your own value. It is worthwhile for anyone to be with you when you are young and beautiful. The question is who is willing to join hands with you for a lifetime until you are old and beautiful. Don't forget your future mission for the sake of the little love in front of you. Feelings that are not warm enough will only become colder and colder in the future. To deal with such an opponent, you need a very deep tact and a very strong endurance, just like the concubines in the harem, who endure the humiliation and bear the burden and wait for the opportunity to come out. If it were me, I would give up on him. His price/performance ratio is not high enough. With him, you have to pay too much and get too little. Also, I think all girls should keep one thing in mind: Just because he pursues you does not mean that he has considered you in his future life, nor does it mean that he is ready to marry you, have children with you, and live with you for the rest of his life. It's like not all contracts can be negotiated, even if the other party comes to you in the first place. Falling in love is risky. Don't close your eyes and be an ostrich, thinking that "he is chasing me" can solve all problems. Only by enduring hardship can one become a superior person. This statement applies to everything, including love.