Is it normal that the relationship between children and nannies has surpassed that of parents?

Kiss the person who brought the children.

It's ok for grandparents to take it, but what about the nanny taking care of the older children?

Will you raise other people's children?

Recently, I saw a post in Zhihu asking, "Do nannies take care of their children and kiss their parents?" ?

The best reply is about a family story.

The parents of this family work in Japan, and the children stay in their hometown and are taken care of by their aunts until they are taken to junior high school. Aunties will take their children to visit their grandparents regularly. Later, the children called them aunties and moms, but they were very cautious in front of their parents.

Some people say that good children cultivate others, and the grace of parenting is greater than the grace of childbirth.

He also said that the children were taken good care of by his aunt, and her aunt also had a sense of boundaries. The reason why children call their mothers is really just their emotional needs.

It suddenly occurred to me that when I went back to my hometown at the beginning of the year, I heard something from my third aunt. My sister's daughter has been raised by her. She said that children sometimes talk too much for fun. One day, the child suddenly asked, Grandma, can I call you mom? Oh, I laughed to death. ...

The elders at home who attended the hearing were overjoyed and felt that the children were naive.

But I feel a little distressed when I hear it. Children will say this for no reason. She is not arrogant, but she doesn't want her mother's feelings to be empty.

Every family that can't take care of children will have many inevitable difficulties. Every well-thought-out choice, whether you take it with you or put it back to your hometown, is actually what you give up in order to get something.

I dare not say that any choice must be good, but from the child's heart, no matter how difficult it is, as long as it is around parents, it is extremely sweet and excellent.

Although I tried to understand the parents' difficulties: who would want to leave their children if there was a way?

But in any case, the damage caused to children is still irreparable, so there is a sentence I want to say again, although it has been mentioned countless times:

No matter how difficult it is, please stick to it again and take the children with you.

0 1

Imagination is good for the baby, but it actually hurts the baby the most.

According to statistics, about 40% left-behind children meet their parents no more than twice a year, 20% left-behind children contact their parents no more than four times a year, and 70% of them have psychological or behavioral abnormalities.

What if one day, mom and dad suddenly disappear and there is no news?

A 6-year-old girl has experienced such a thing.

Xiaoyi is 6 years old this year. She studied in kindergarten for two years. At first, everything went smoothly, but she hasn't seen her parents since this winter vacation.

It turned out that Xiao Yi's father's company was badly run, and the loan arrears could not be recovered, which made him unable to pay for the kindergarten and the child's mother unable to raise the child. So parents who can't afford to pay the fees choose a way to make their children bear it-leave their children in the garden.

In the days when his parents were missing, Xiao Yi answered "No" when asked by a reporter "I miss my parents"!

This is probably the youngest age I have ever seen, and my sadness is greater than my heart.

Some netizens said that they would not judge the truth of the incident. I only care about how the children spent the year.

Having been dumped by her parents, will she be super afraid of being dumped by the director who takes care of her one day? In this way, I live carefully every day, dare not have a wish, dare not rest assured to play

Leave the child behind, let the child be in another space parallel to his own world, and imagine that he should not be too bad, so as to slowly solve the dilemma he faces.

Even if everything is safe, it will be a lifelong injury to children, and the lost sense of security will never be found again.

It can be seen what children who are not around their parents are like.

Once I took my children back to my hometown by train. A young couple across the street looked at the child and liked it very much. They asked him how old he was. The daughter replied that she was 2 years old, and the kannika nimtragol said that she was about the same age as our family.

Let me ask you, are you going back to your hometown this trip?

Daughter-in-law said, yes, I haven't been back for more than a year, so I have a ticket to go home and see my children while I have no job.

As she spoke, she looked at the children, her eyes full of yearning.

I said that if I go back, the children will be very happy and see their parents.

The daughter-in-law is a little embarrassed to say that she doesn't know if the child knows me, and she didn't go back or give the child a video.

I said why, don't you want children?

She said, yes, I can call back, but the child always cries and misses his mother. She felt guilty when she hung up. The old man has to be coaxed for a long time, thinking about the care of his old man, and he will never treat the child badly, so he won't make a phone call to save the child from being sad.

Say that finish, everyone was silent.

No matter how careful grandparents take care of them, I'm afraid I can't fill in the children's thoughts about their parents every night.

Parents believe that the children have paved the road and made a "comprehensive plan", which will not delay the work and make money, but will let the children get good care. In fact, they have lost their best support.

I want to promise my children a better future, but I forget that the highest starting line is actually myself. Parents who worked hard to make money left nothing behind and missed the growth of their children.

02

A child's dependence on his parents is the starting point for him to find a sense of security.

British psychiatrist John Ball Beebe once put forward the attachment theory. He said that attachment does not simply come from the mother's feeding or humanity, but runs through life, but this attachment is most obvious in early childhood. Only when children regard their parents as a safe base can they effectively explore their surroundings.

If you lose your parents' safety foundation, you will lose your initial sense of security in life.

Children with spiritual companionship are cured by such childhood all their lives, while children living alone may have to spend their lives to cure the lack of security.

Teacher Wu Zhihong mentioned a letter from a desperate mother in Why Home Hurts People:

She said that after her second daughter Xiaoyun was born, she gave Xiaoyun, who had just reached the full moon, to her grandparents for support. When she was at school, her children were put in foster care at her uncle's aunt's house. However, she has never abused her children and buys them a lot of things every year. The children are very sensible and get good grades.

In a sports competition, a child was injured. She took her children to different places for treatment. After the operation, the child returned to his hometown alone for 8 months of acupuncture recovery treatment. She said the baby really reassured her.

Although the hand recovered, the child's grades plummeted and he was addicted to the Internet. She was in a hurry and took her child to junior high school.

At first, the child was obedient, but it didn't take long to get online. At first, her husband disciplined him severely, with little effect. Later, he restricted his pocket money and prevented his children from surfing the Internet.

Who knows, children without pocket money began to lie and steal, moved to several schools, and were finally persuaded to leave.

Mother is desperate.

But for Xiaoyun, when she was left at home, she was desperate. She wants her mother to buy her a lot of things just because she has good grades. She took her everywhere for medical treatment, just because she was afraid that she would be disabled and unable to study. No one would want a disabled child with no future.

When Xiaoyun lost the only weight of her grades, she thought that she would be comforted when she returned to her parents, but she was constantly accused by her parents.

Although Xiaoyun, who has entered junior high school, is still trying to find a sense of security, what she needs most is not strict guidance, but the warmth of her parents.

There are really no children who go bad for no reason, some just give up their company, but expect their parents to have fun. Children who have lost their dependence, like duckweeds in the water, are always looking for a place to live.

03

Parents, no matter how hard it is, should take their children with them.

It is the luck of children and the practice of parents to raise children by themselves.

Not long ago, I saw a tearful news that the son of a couple of take-away riders was seriously hearing impaired, which affected his ability to learn to speak. This is a huge blow to young parents and brings heavy pressure to the already poor families.

But even so, they never thought of giving up. While trying to save money, the couple went to many cities to treat their son. They are too busy at work and worried that they can't take care of their children, so they take their son with them, and the electric car that delivers food has become the cradle of children.

When the child has the opportunity to wear a cochlear implant and clearly call out his mother, he can't feel tears even through the screen.

Looking at the interaction between children and their parents in the photo and the smile of the family together, we know that it is only for parents, and it is really warm to take the children regardless of all difficulties.

After Qian Fan, I was accompanied by love all the way.

Do you still remember the taxi driver Li Mama who took her daughter out of the car in Wuhan? During the epidemic, she took her daughter to live in an 8-square-meter dormitory, cooking noodles or soup rice every day and adding a little food. No matter how difficult it was, she didn't ask the community for help. She also volunteered to be a volunteer in the medical team, and her daughter caught a cold. She anxiously accompanied and cared for the child for more than ten days before she recovered. On the day the Hubei medical team was evacuated, mother Li took her daughter out of the car to see them off.

That road is the road she has taken with her daughter countless times. That day she sent away dozens of cars and drove on an empty road. She cried.

Is it difficult? It's really difficult, but at this most difficult time, my daughter must want to have her mother around.

Such love will warm the child's life and warm his life.

04

Recently, many people have been moved by the way the child sits under the chopping board and studies. Colleagues will even use this little girl's example to educate children. We should cherish the present learning environment and strive for progress.

It is unrealistic to say that parents are not sad in noisy environment and narrow space, but for children, where there are parents, the land under the chopping board is warm. For parents, the disturbance on the chopping board is full of energy when the children are around.

A line often said in Hong Kong films: A family should be neat.

Difficulties and hardships are temporary tempering, darkness will eventually pass, and tomorrow will eventually come. Parents and children are together, which is the greatest luck for each other.

If you can be together, try to be together. If you can't, try to keep in touch and keep the temperature of love.