Yao Chen’s words express the sadness of stay-at-home mothers. This era has high demands on women.

This era has very high demands on women. If you choose to be a working woman, some people will say that you are a bad mother regardless of your family. If you choose to be a stay-at-home mother, some people will think that you are a poor mother. Raising children is a woman's duty, not a profession.

Stay-at-home mothers refer to mothers who quit their jobs in order to raise their children. They refer to mothers who do not want to rely on nannies or trouble the elderly and who focus on running the family and accompanying their children to grow up.

In the minds of many people, stay-at-home mother is just a title, not a profession. Most people take it for granted that women take care of their families and children, and the most important thing is that this "career" does not bring any income.

01

This society has very strict requirements on women.

This society has increasingly strict requirements on women after they get married, especially after they become mothers.

When you usually dress up, some people say you don’t know who you want to seduce and provoke; when you don’t dress up, some people say you are sloppy and unkempt, and you don’t look like a woman at all.

If you don’t go to work, the housework is yours. If you go to work, the housework will still be waiting for you when you get home. Especially since you have a child, your leaders think that your insufficient care of the child may affect your work, so you may be laid off, or assigned some mechanical and repetitive work with no future, or you may be transferred frequently and rotated until you are Quit when faced with difficulties;

You want to work hard at night and weekends and often work overtime to improve your career. The elderly at home think that you deliberately socialize outside just to avoid going home to take care of the children, the heavy housework and the inability to take care of the children. Trivial things can cause a gap between the elderly and you all the time, and even small triggers can cause quarrels in the house and cause restless nights and sleepless nights.

As if you were born to be a superman. Going to work, washing and drying clothes, doing hygiene, cooking, taking care of children, and taking care of the elderly are all yours, not men's. I have always wondered how a society that was once a matriarchal society could evolve to this extent. When it comes to the family and children, women have the first priority.

02

The group of stay-at-home mothers is growing day by day.

Although stay-at-home mothers are a risky and unpopular job that can turn into a tragedy at any time, in recent years, the group of stay-at-home mothers has continued to expand. Most of the reasons are as follows: Points:

The nanny’s character cannot be determined. Many nannies have not received formal training. Mothers often rely only on the nanny's character, and people's hearts are inherently complex. It is not ruled out that some nannies may have alienation due to imbalance in the material comparison center between their master and themselves. What many nannies do is even more shocking.

Some people burn their owners to death, some abuse children, and some kidnap children. Even though most of them have been punished by law, the harm done to the children can never be undone.

This makes mothers very difficult to guard against. If they are not forced to do so, fewer and fewer mothers will let newly hired nannies be alone with their children.

Old people have their own lives. The elderly in the new era not only have limited energy, but also have to lead their own colorful lives. Nowadays, the elderly pay more attention to spiritual pursuits than in the past. They organize groups to see the great mountains and rivers, see the world, or organize groups to participate in yoga and chess classes, dance square dances, drink tea and meet friends, etc. The elderly have worked hard for most of their lives, and their children This change should also be understood and supported.

Nannies and the elderly cannot be expected to educate children, and the concept of education is outdated. Raising children requires a lot of energy and time, and the caregivers need to have a certain level of education. Therefore, even with healthy elderly people and nannies who have good moral values, children can grow up safely. , but based on the opinions of the elderly and the general academic level of nannies, it is still impossible to guarantee a good education for children.

The speed of modern enterprises is too fast and the intensity is too high. The 996 working system is very popular. If both husband and wife are in the company at the same time, both of them have to work overtime until late at night. They cannot take care of their family and children, so they can only temporarily sacrifice one's career. Promote warmer family relationships and enable future generations to receive longer and better quality education.

03

Will being a full-time mother become a tragedy?

Luo Zijun and An An from "The First Half of My Life" and "The Second Time is Better" both interpreted for us the inescapable fate of abandonment after giving up their careers to become full-time wives. Due to the influence of my country's national conditions and traditional thinking, most mothers also have the same confusion after becoming stay-at-home mothers, and these confusions come from:

Low sense of self-worth. They gave up their jobs and lost their economic status, resulting in the loss of social status and family status;

Unable to generate income. There is only one source of money, and it all comes from the husband's pocket;

He does not get respect from others. Usually some unkind neighbors will sneer and say, "You are so free. You don't have to go to work. You don't have a job." Friends who haven't seen each other for a long time will say something like, "You don't have a job, so I should pay the bill." Sometimes even grown-up children will say that their mother has no job.

Criticisms from other relatives and husband. On occasions when money is needed, you will feel the occasional dislike from your family. And no matter how much your husband dotes on you, he will lose his temper with you when he is busy at work and physically and mentally exhausted, and he doesn’t know what to do at home all day long.

Dedication is not understood. A nanny is there every day, doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning. Doing errands for family members, etc. Since you don't have a job, these chores are necessary. Nor will I get the gratitude of my family.

Putting your hope in your children makes you lose yourself. Because too many wishes have not come true, stay-at-home mothers always put too much hope into their children, enroll them in many cram schools, and hope that their children will become dragons and phoenixes to make up for their own lack of value. However, this does no good at all. It will increase the child's learning pressure. When the child's performance is still unsatisfactory, there will be a profound sense of loss and indirect damage to the parent-child relationship.

Difficulty in re-employment. Even though some mothers still have a desire to work when their children grow up, they have no choice but to overage or be out of touch with society. Companies pursue profit maximization and recruit more young people. There is never a shortage of new people during the graduation season every year. The only jobs you can choose are nannies, maids, canteen staff, living aunts and other jobs that are mainly manual labor.

Being a stay-at-home mother is a high-risk profession. If you are not careful, it will become a tragedy.

04

Choice is important.

When a woman chooses to be a stay-at-home mother, she not only loses her youth, health, job, connections, dreams, plans, no right to speak, and no social status, some even lose their marriage and start over. Therefore, when a woman decides to be a stay-at-home mother, please be cautious and think twice before you act.

Whether you become a stay-at-home mother or not, it is just a personal choice and you cannot complain. And this choice should be made as early as possible, even before a woman gets married. Choosing the right person is important.

Secondly, before you prepare to become a full-time mother, you must consider whether your age is suitable for re-employment after your child goes to kindergarten, what your education, experience, and abilities are, and whether you have the ability to re-employ at any time. If factors such as age are no longer suitable, are you prepared with various backup funds? Even if your husband abandons you, you still have the ability to raise your children alone.

Finally, it is your choice after becoming a stay-at-home mother. Whether you can follow your heart and be willing to return to your family is definitely not a compromise on life, but a new way of life. Can you continue to improve yourself and set a good example for your children?

05

By solving knots, planning frequently, and being good at self-cultivation, stay-at-home mothers can also live a wonderful life.

Even if you have to become a full-time mother, as long as you do the following three things, mothers can still live a wonderful life.

Relieve knots.

It doesn't matter what others say. The key is that you can follow your own heart and don't care about what other people think. As long as you devote yourself to your family wholeheartedly, you will be worthy of your family and worthy of heaven and earth. Mothers allow their families to eat fresh and delicious vegetables and fruits, steaming and fragrant meals every day, enjoy a comfortable and tidy indoor environment, and wear clean and fragrant clothes. A stay-at-home mother is a mixture of multiple roles. Not only is she a wife and mother, she is also a nanny when doing housework, a teacher when teaching children, a doctor when taking care of sick family members, a driver when picking up children, and a hairdresser as a colleague. Tailors, repairmen, sanitation workers, etc. With no income and 24 hours a day off, being a stay-at-home mom is a great existence. In recent years, as society's misunderstandings about stay-at-home mothers have slowly been eliminated and the role has been taken more seriously, the status of stay-at-home mothers has also improved.

Frequency planning. Always conduct a SWOT assessment of your own strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and challenges, taking into account your savings, investment and financial management income, pension, social security, and business insurance, personality and hobbies, physical conditions, future plans, etc., to find a lifestyle that suits you and your family. A mature person knows how to control his own life and how to plan his life in all aspects. Stay humble, talk less and do more, don’t become a sloppy, greasy, nagging, pimpled middle-aged woman, don’t spend money carelessly, have a correct view on consumption, don’t lose your temper, and be gentle to your loved ones.

Be good at self-cultivation. Being a stay-at-home mother does not mean losing yourself completely. Mothers should not forget to cultivate themselves and improve themselves while taking care of their children. You can learn to play the piano, draw, calligraphy, manage money, keep fit, travel, etc. according to your personal interests. In particular, read more. Reading will keep you awake at all times, and you will always know what kind of person you are and what kind of path you want to take in the future. Even if you don’t have time to study so much, you can still have simple happiness, cook a delicious dish for yourself, sip a cup of tea, listen to a melodious song, and watch a movie where the roles on stage and off stage can be interchanged. . There are actually many things that can be done.

06

Stay-at-home mothers around you.

There are many stay-at-home mothers, parents of classmates, former colleagues and friends around me, and a few of them have formed a stable circle. They often get together to talk about children, men, cooking, and life. Each of these mothers has their own unique talents, growing flowers, vegetables, and making tea, each of which is wonderful in its own way.

Mama Pang has a daughter who is ranked among the best. She herself graduated from a prestigious university. Because both her husband and she are from other places and there are no elderly people to take care of their children, they have to be out of touch with society. After her daughter was born, she became a stay-at-home mother. She makes good vegetarian dishes and is picky about the freshness of the ingredients and whether there are any additives.

Mother Lu has a tall daughter. Her husband runs a teahouse in the luxurious Vanke Plaza. She often goes there to help and drink tea. She used to be an administrator in a law firm and grew crops. The beautiful big rose peony, brewing scented tea every day, makes the house clean and tidy, and also takes care of the flowers to make them lively.

Mother Wu has a pair of cute and obese sons. She may feel that her merits have been completed and she does not have any business or part-time job. She usually likes fitness and yoga and often posts some difficult movements in WeChat Moments. She loves eating salads, which may help her stay in shape.

Mother Yuan has a pair of twin sons. She has resigned from her job for more than ten years and has become a very competent housewife. She is good at cooking and her family has a sufficient financial environment. She has a variety of cooking options. Good tools for gourmet food, such as a flour grinder costing several thousand yuan, and an iron pot specially brought back from Japan. Her food is even more diverse.

There are more and more excellent women around us. Whether they are full-time mothers or not, they always have independent personalities, independent thoughts and personal charm. Dear fellows, it is not easy to do anything well. No matter what choice you have, the most important thing is to know yourself, understand yourself, follow your heart, do what you like, do your best to grow yourself, and live a rich life.