A paper titled How to Improve Self-Ability Based on "Professional Ability"

1. Background and significance of the topic It is reported that the Department of Sociology of Shandong University selected two college graduate job fairs held in Jinan and sent 1,500 questionnaires on-site to conduct research on the supply and demand situation of college graduates this year. A survey and analysis has been conducted, and the results show that the most important thing that employers value when recruiting is the comprehensive quality of students, while the abilities of college students have become the focus of employers' attention, especially interpersonal skills. We know that the "2.23 murder case of Yunnan University shocked the whole country" ", the main culprit Ma Jiajue embarked on the path of murder due to some minor conflicts with his classmates. This matter has to arouse our thinking. To this end, in our life, study, and work, we must face up to and solve the problems of being unwilling to interact, not understanding how to interact, and not good at interacting, shape our own image, treat interpersonal interactions with a positive attitude and behavior, and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships. We hope that by understanding the characteristics of interpersonal communication and the principles of communication, we can gain some knowledge about communication. Combining these characteristics and principles, we can find appropriate ways to cultivate our interpersonal skills and promote our own interpersonal relationships. 2. Introduction to college students’ interpersonal skills 1. The meaning of interpersonal skills: Social skills refer to the ability to properly handle relationships inside and outside the organization. It includes the ability to establish extensive contact with the surrounding environment and absorb and transform external information, as well as correctly handle ups and downs. The ability to control relationships. 2. Types of interpersonal skills: (1) Expression and understanding ability Expression and understanding ability means whether a person can express his or her inner thoughts and allow others to clearly understand their own thoughts, followed by Understand other people's expressions. A person's ability to express himself can also directly prove his degree of social adaptation. (2) Interpersonal integration ability shows whether a person can experience the trustworthiness and loveliness of others. It has a great relationship with the person's personality (such as introversion and extroversion), but it is not completely determined by it. psychological meaning. (3) Problem-solving ability One of the current major weaknesses of only children is their strong dependence and poor independent problem-solving ability. Coupled with the shortcomings of exam-oriented education, this seriously affects students' communication skills. 3. The importance of cultivating interpersonal skills. Interpersonal skills are the ability to live in harmony with others in a group or group. People are social beings. It is difficult to imagine that without society and interactions with other people, a person What will happen to people's lives? There are people who must interact with people. When we enter society, we will deal with all kinds of people. When interacting with people, whether you can get support and help from others will involve your own abilities. I believe that while we are studying in school, we must cultivate our ability to deal with classmates, teachers, leaders, and employees. When talking with classmates, one can debate different academic viewpoints, discuss different understandings of social phenomena, and improve one's thinking ability during the debate; when talking with teachers, one can exchange reading experiences, clarify different thoughts and understandings, and be inspired by them; By talking to your leader, you can fully communicate your different opinions on the problem, and perhaps you can train yourself not to be frightened in front of your leader; when dealing with employees, you can understand their working conditions and different mentality. Be good at communicating with people, and you will learn a lot of things that you can't learn in books. 1. Interpersonal communication is an important way to maintain the physical and mental health of college students (1) Interpersonal relationships affect the physical and psychological conditions of college students. College students in their youth are active in thinking and rich in emotions. Their need for interpersonal communication is extremely strong. Everyone desires sincerity and friendship. Everyone strives to gain friendship through interpersonal interactions and satisfy their material and spiritual needs. However, facing the new environment, new objects and intense study life, some students have intensified their psychological conflicts. At this time, positive interpersonal communication and good interpersonal relationships can make people happy, full of emotions, confident, and maintain an optimistic attitude towards life.

Generally speaking, most students with good interpersonal relationships can maintain a cheerful personality and enthusiastic and optimistic qualities, so that they can correctly understand and deal with various practical problems, resolve various conflicts in study and life, and form positive and excellent qualities. Adapt quickly to college life. On the contrary, if there is a lack of positive interpersonal communication, an inability to treat oneself and others correctly, a narrow-mindedness, and a short-sightedness, it is easy to create huge mental and psychological pressure, and it is difficult to resolve psychological conflicts. In severe cases, it may lead to morbid psychology. If it does not receive timely guidance, it may form a vicious cycle and seriously affect physical and mental health. (2) Interpersonal communication affects the mood and emotional changes of college students. College students in the youth development period are in the golden age of life and are gradually maturing in terms of psychology, physiology and socialization. However, in this process, once adverse factors are encountered, it can easily lead to anxiety, tension, fear, anger and other negative emotions, affecting learning and life. Practice has proved that friendly, harmonious and coordinated interpersonal communication is beneficial to college students' control and venting of bad emotions and emotions. (3) Interpersonal communication affects the spiritual life of college students. College students are rich in emotions. In addition to intense study, they need to communicate with each other emotionally, discuss ideals and life, and express joy, anger, sorrow, and joy. Interpersonal communication is the best way to realize this desire. Through interpersonal communication, college students can meet their needs for friendship, belonging, and security. They can realize their own value in the group more deeply and vividly, and develop a sense of intimacy and attachment to the group and others, thereby gaining fulfilling life. , happy spiritual life, and promote physical and mental health. 2. Interpersonal communication is an important guarantee for the growth of college students. (1) Interpersonal communication is an important way to exchange information and acquire knowledge. Modern society is an information society, and the amount of information and the value of information are unprecedented. People's requirements for possessing various information and using information are constantly growing with the expansion of the amount of information. Through interpersonal communication, we can transfer and exchange information and results with each other, enriching our experience, increasing our knowledge, broadening our horizons, active thinking, and enlightening our thoughts. (2) Interpersonal communication is an important means for individuals to understand themselves and improve themselves. Confucius once said: "Studying alone without friends will lead to loneliness and ignorance." Interpersonal communication can help us improve our understanding of ourselves and our understanding of others. In the process of interpersonal communication, each other gets to know each other from each other's speech and behavior. At the same time, you get to know yourself from the other person's reaction and evaluation of you. The wider the interaction, the deeper the interaction, the more complete the understanding of the other party, and the deeper the understanding of oneself. Only when you have a comprehensive understanding of others and a deep understanding of yourself can you get the understanding, sympathy, care and help of others, and self-improvement is possible. (3) Interpersonal communication is a need for collective growth and social development. Interpersonal communication is the link that coordinates a collective relationship and forms a collective force. And a good collective can promote the formation of excellent personality qualities of young students. Such as sense of justice, compassion, optimism, etc., all grow up in democratic, harmonious and friendly interpersonal relationships. Good interpersonal relationships can also enhance the cohesion of the student collective and become the most important educational force in the collective. Interpersonal communication is an interaction between people. Good interpersonal skills are positive. On the contrary, they are not conducive to the overall healthy development of the individual. 3. College students’ social skills are generally weak. At recent campus recruitment fairs held by various universities, some business leaders said that employees’ social and communication skills have increasingly become the main driving force for companies to win in market competition. Therefore, employers are recruiting More emphasis is placed on the "emotional intelligence" of job seekers. Facing the recruitment conditions set by employers, more and more college students feel the importance of interpersonal skills. A recent survey on college students' career adaptability showed that 41.98% of students believed that interpersonal skills training is "an educational content that is particularly helpful for them when looking for a job", which greatly exceeded professional ability training (14.9%), basic knowledge and Skill training (17.5) and psychological quality education (17.5) and other knowledge abilities.

For example, "The Doctrine of the Mean" says: "If a country has the Way, words are enough to rejuvenate the country; if the country does not have the Way, silence is enough to tolerate it." This shows that both admonishment and silence are appropriate ways of doing things, but which method should the courtiers adopt? The ideal consequences will depend on whether the country they are in is a moral or unethical country. Take Yang Xiu mentioned at the beginning of this chapter as an example. He is a witty talent, but the lord Cao Cao he serves is a suspicious person. Yang Xiu relied on his cleverness and revealed Cao Cao's intentions many times, which led to his death. If his lord was a tolerant, knowledgeable and manipulative person, not only would Yang Xiu not be killed, but he would be entrusted with important tasks. Although some people may lament that Yang Xiu was untimely, but in terms of "adapting to the times", it seems that Yang Xiu only focused on speaking quickly for a while, but ignored the thought and character of the other party (Cao Cao), so he said something that was true but not suitable for the other party. If you put your mind to words, your life will be wasted in vain. It can be seen that in order to successfully achieve social goals, it is necessary to judge changes in objective situations and adapt to various social situations. In one study, we used fictitious situations and asked people how they would react in those situations. Two of the situations are: (1) You are afraid of going to the dentist, but now you have to go to the dentist to repair your teeth. (2) You are held hostage in a government building by a group of armed terrorists. In both situations, people can choose to carefully observe the danger signals around them. For example, in the second situation, you can pay attention to what weapons the terrorists have. They can also try to distract themselves from danger signs that might make them nervous. Of course, in the situation of seeing a dentist, actively monitoring for danger signs will only make you more nervous, tighten your muscles, and cause more pain. But in a hostage situation, paying attention to danger signs can improve your chances of escape. Among those tested, some were better at distinguishing the difference between the two situations, choosing to be distracted in the situation where they were seeing the dentist, and choosing to observe the environment in the situation where they were being coerced. Some people have significantly lower analytical abilities and choose to observe the environment in different situations. Our research also shows that people with higher analytical skills have higher social skills. When they interact with parents, teachers, friends and people they dislike, they are better able to achieve their communication goals and are better able to improve their friendship. There is also evidence that people with high analytical skills have more pleasant interactions and are less likely to suffer from depression. It needs to be emphasized that "adapting measures to changing circumstances" does not mean blindly changing one's behavior in response to changes in the situation, nor does it mean blindly complying with the other party's will. People with high analytical skills are not necessarily social chameleons who only know how to blindly agree. They have their own goals in life, and these goals can also be altruistic (such as raising money for a hospital). People with high analytical skills know how to assess the situation when pursuing these goals. They can not only help people who were initially unwilling to donate, but also make them feel happy after donating. This is the purpose of applying analytical skills. (2) Insight into the psychological state of others Insight into the psychological state of others is also an important part of social ability. When some people see other people's behavior, they don't try to understand the other person's situation and feelings when doing things, and they immediately judge what kind of person the other person is from their behavior. This emphasis on judgment over understanding is a major obstacle to the development of social skills. In our research, subjects were given a description of a person's behavior and then asked to relay that person's information to another subject. In the process of retelling, some people spontaneously added some character and moral judgments about the characters in the story (such as "He is a bitch"), while some people actively added analysis of the inner world of the storyteller (such as "Because He wanted to qualify as a lawyer, so he turned a blind eye to the bad things done by powerful people"). In this study, we also measured the results of the subjects' interactions with parents, teachers, friends and people they disliked, and found that the more people tend to judge moral character, the worse their social skills will be. On the contrary, the more people tend to do inner analysis, the higher their social skills will be.

Regarding the cultivation of problem-solving abilities, we might as well learn from IBM's method of cultivating employees. IBM has five major steps to cultivate this ability: First, define and clarify the problem: first collect and analyze the data, and after confirming that the problem does exist, write the problem down Come down into a statement that everyone can understand, crystallize the problem, and make it clear to those involved. Second, analyze the problem: you can use management techniques to assist, such as fishbone diagrams, etc. Or hold a discussion meeting with subordinates to classify the causes of problems and list the priorities for solving them. Third, we need to work out possible solutions: Invite colleagues to brainstorm, and the most important thing is to sort out these results in a systematic way, based on whether they can really solve the problem, whether they can gain management support, and whether they can be put into practice, etc. Principle sorting. Fourth, choose a solution and formulate an action plan: Choose the solution with the greatest impact and the easiest to promote, and immediately formulate an action plan. Fifth, we must promote solutions and track results: give a definition of 'success' before proceeding, constantly review the implementation of decisions during the process, and establish milestones at each stage to ensure that actions achieve their goals