Wonderful positive energy joke

It doesn't matter how long you live, as long as you live happily and do something meaningful in your lifetime. Here are the wonderful positive energy jokes I gave you. I hope you like them.

Wonderful positive energy jokes Daquan hilarious 1

1. Sun Xiao in the office found a wallet in the canteen. He returned his wallet to its owner, a foreign employee.

The foreigner was very moved and wrote a thank-you letter and posted it in the publicity column.

As a result, every employee who passed the publicity column couldn't help laughing. The title of the original thank-you note was: Look what Sun Xiao did!

2. A salesman angrily said to his colleague, "If the boss doesn't take back what he just said, I will resign."

"What did the manager say to you?"

"Let me resign."

An employee in the office actually drinks at work. The manager saw it and asked angrily, "Why do you drink at work?"

The employee replied, "Sorry, manager, I am commemorating the anniversary of the last salary increase 10."

4, the manager made a hemorrhoids surgery, colleagues about to go to the hospital to visit. Seven or eight men and women came to the ward and giggled at the manager. No one is embarrassed to ask him about his illness.

I only heard the driver Lao Zhang cough twice and asked the manager seriously, "I heard there is something wrong with the chassis." Are you better now? "

5.MM said to her male colleague, "I like semi-naked men, full of strength and beauty!"

The male colleague replied, "I am just the opposite of you."

MM wondered and asked, "Why? Don't you think so? "

The male colleague replied, "I like half-naked women ..."

Wonderful positive energy jokes daquan hilarious 2

1, job fair, I went to apply with my classmates. The interviewer asked him: Have you passed Band 4?

He replied: Yes.

Interviewer: Why didn't you bring your certificate?

He said: I didn't pass the exam.

Interviewer: Did you pass the exam or not?

My roommate realized: I passed the exam, but I didn't.

There is fierce competition in the recruitment interview of big companies, and only two women are left in the end.

Both of them were excellent, so the interviewer hesitated and asked them to come back for an interview the next day.

Before leaving, an interviewer picked up a piece of paper on the ground.

Therefore, the details determine success or failure. It is this casual bending that happens to be seen by the passing CEO. The CEO found that her breasts were particularly small through the collar and decided to admit another woman.

A colleague went to the water dispenser to get water, and suddenly let out a cry, which startled us.

"What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing, it's very hot!"

"Oh, idiot ..."

Another colleague went to get water and shouted, we were scared again. Just as the manager came out with a glass of water and asked, "What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing, it's hot ..."

"Oh, idiot!"

The manager went to fetch water and shouted, "Ah ... exam! Leakage! A group of idiots. "

4. The proprietress came to the company to make a scene with the boss, as if aware that the boss was having an affair. The boss said innocently, "Look, how could I have an affair? Even the secretary is a man! " !

The wife of shop-owner looked at the secretary standing in the corner and suddenly got into a scuffle with the secretary. ...

Wonderful positive energy joke 3

1, the computer in the office is very slow.

One day, a colleague suggested a new machine to the director, saying, "It will take half an hour to turn it on now!" " "

The director said, "didn't you mention coming to work half an hour ago?"

2. The director of the office has kept the public refrigerator of the office in his home for a long time, and the unit people have been talking about it.

The director explained at the plenary meeting: "If you put this refrigerator in the office, no one will feel distressed. Every day, it is turned on to the highest grade, and the refrigerator door is thrown over, but it is still intact in my home these years, which is equivalent to extending the service life several times. I didn't ask the unit for a penny of storage fee. Some people even make irresponsible remarks about me. Where is their conscience? "

One day at lunch in the canteen, the manager inadvertently asked, "Xiao Li, how do you feel after coming to the company for so long?" Have you gained anything? "

Xiao Li thought for a moment and said, "When I first came to the company, I didn't know anything."

The manager asked again, "What about now?"

Xiao Li said seriously, "I don't know anything now ..."

4. A man worked overtime until late at night, walking in the dark street, and was stopped by a masked gangster. The gangster pointed a gun at him and threatened, "Take out the money quickly, or I'll blow your head off!" "

He said, "You fight! In this world, you can live without a head and live without money! "

Wonderful positive energy joke 4

1, I was beaten when I was a child, and I was very wronged. I feel that I am definitely not my own, and I have been planning to run away from home. Now that I have children, I suddenly realize that my parents didn't kill me, but they really love me!

2. Ten years of bitter cold window, only for Peking University Tsinghua, but finally admitted to Peking University Jade Bird.

3. Fengxian Xiao, a famous prostitute in the early years of the Republic of China, was the object of anti-vice if she followed migrant workers; If she follows Cai E, she will be immortal; If she follows Sun Yat-sen, she may become the mother of the country.

The important lesson of this matter: it's not what you do, but who you do it with.

You are not a true man until you reach the Great Wall. When you arrive at the Great Wall, the hero will not suffer immediate losses. Don't hit the south wall, don't go back, hit the south wall, but the wall is pushed by everyone; Never die until you reach the Yellow River. When you get to the Yellow River, you can't wash it if you jump in! Trouble will not stop, the most important thing is happiness.

One day, the female secretary said with a dignified face, Mr. Wang, I am pregnant. Wang continued to look down at the file, and then smiled faintly: I had a vasectomy. The female secretary stared blankly for a while and smiled. I'm kidding you! Wang looked up at her, took a sip of tea and said, me too.

The important revelation of this incident: people who mix in rivers and lakes should not panic when something happens, let the bullets fly for a while first.

6. The man proposes, and the woman's parents: Please introduce yourself.

A said: I have 10 million;

B said: I have a mansion worth 20 million;

Parents are very satisfied. Just ask C, what do you have at home?

C: I have nothing but the baby in your daughter's belly.

AB is speechless and left.

The important revelation of this matter: the core competitiveness is not money and houses, but people who have their own in key positions.

7. Columbus's egg

After Columbus discovered America, many people thought that Columbus just happened to see it, and anyone else could do it by luck. So, at a grand banquet, a nobleman said to him, "Mr. Columbus, we all know where America is, and you just happened to go there first!" " If we go, we will find it. "In the face of criticism, Columbus was calm. He had a brainwave, picked up an egg on the table and said to everyone, "Ladies and gentlemen, who can stand the egg on the table? Which one of you can do it? "Everyone is eager to try, but they are defeated one by one. Columbus smiled, picked up the egg, patted it on the table and stood there. Columbus went on to say, "Yes, it's as simple as that. It is really not difficult to discover America, as easy as laying this egg. But, gentlemen, who did it before I set it up? "In essence, innovation is a welcome attitude towards new ideas, new perspectives and new changes, and it is also manifested as a new perspective. Many times, people will say, is this innovation? So I know! Innovation is that simple. The key is whether you dare to think or do.

8. Buy cigarettes

A went to buy 29 yuan's cigarettes and cigarettes, but he didn't have any matches. He said to the clerk. "Send a box of matches by the way." The clerk didn't give it?

B went to buy cigarettes and smoked 29 yuan. He doesn't have any matches either. He said to the clerk, "It's a dime cheaper." Finally, he bought a box of matches with his hair.

This is the simplest psychological marginal effect. The first type: the shopkeeper thinks that he has made money on one commodity and not on another. The feeling index of making money is 1. The second type: the shopkeeper thinks that both goods have made money, and the profit index is 2. Of course, psychological tendency is the second. Similarly, this kind of psychology is also manifested in the trick of buying one and getting one free. Customers think that one thing is earned without paying, but it is actually a psychological marginal effect.

Another way can often have unexpected results! Usually many things will get different results if they are done in different ways. On the road of life, it is very important to improve the mental model and way of thinking.

Wonderful positive energy joke 5

1, another day has passed. How was your day? Did you dream?

As long as it is a stone, it won't shine anywhere.

I have a friend with a general family background, who always thinks that being rich will make me happier. Later, his mother made a fortune doing infant education. I met him almost ten years later and asked: Now that you have money, are you really happy? He replied: It's awesome! I walked away silently.

4. Only those with strong ability will be regarded as pure technicians; But only social flattery, will be considered to have no real talent; Therefore, in order to stand out in the unit, the most important thing is the relationship.

I found that no coal miner quickly became a coal boss by digging more coal.

6. I have a friend who stopped complaining and feeling sorry for herself a few years ago and started trying to change himself. To this day, his material life and mental state have not improved.

7. Many times, an optimistic attitude and nice words can't help you.

Looking back on my youth, I found that I lost many precious things. But I am not sad, because I know I will lose more in the future.

9. Autumn is the harvest season. The harvest of others is success and happiness, and your harvest is to realize that not everyone will be successful and happy.

10, my parents have always attached great importance to my moral education. In society, I treat people and things according to what my parents taught me, but I find myself unpopular.

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