How do we fight depression?

I don't remember the day when I cried at work. After driving home for 20 minutes, my mask was soaked with tears. Even when I opened the door and saw my parents, I couldn't help crying. I went to the bathroom alone to wipe my tears.

At first, I just became more and more reluctant to go out. Anyway, it's winter now, and it's common to be afraid of cold and not go out. In addition, the epidemic situation is ups and downs, so it is more appropriate not to go out. Later, I didn't even want to leave the bedroom door. I am too lazy to cook and eat, and I am too lazy to wash my face and hair.

More importantly, I found that my body is different from the past. My heart rate is faster than usual. A small machine gun means a sudden heartbeat. I can't sleep at two or three in the middle of the night, and I am sleepy in broad daylight. At ten o'clock, I didn't expect that my shoulders were getting more and more painful, my hands holding chopsticks were shaking, my brain was buzzing all the time, and I had no desire or vitality at all.

I haven't bought anything on Taobao for almost a year, and I haven't received the express box for a long time.

I don't want to talk to people, but I don't feel comfortable going to crowded places. I hardly went downstairs all spring. Last time I went to the supermarket, the winter jasmine was still in bloom. When I went again, the locust tree had fallen clean.

The state is getting worse and worse. My parents saw me so numb that they took turns to persuade me to go out and look for a job.

"Have we had enough rest? Is it time to go out and earn money? "

"What are you doing at home in a good time? What do you support your dad if you don't work? "

I also tried to find a job and encouraged myself to open the recruitment software. After reading the job requirements, I lost confidence.

"Sunshine, initiative, team spirit and strong ability to withstand pressure", these qualities I don't have now.

Lu Xun said that human emotions are not connected. Even if you are close to your family.

No one thinks I'm sick, but everyone thinks I'm idle.

"You just have nothing to think about!"

"If you are full, you will have nothing to do if you go out to find a class."

I don't want them to understand my pain, such as depression and silence. It is enough for one person to bear it.

After all, people who haven't eaten bitter gourd can't feel the taste of bitter gourd, just like you said to a balding patient, "That's just hair, it grows on your head, why can't it grow?"

Later, I began to observe death. A boy who was looking for a relative died in Sanya. My first reaction turned out to be "Oh, jumping into the sea is a good way to commit suicide, much better than jumping off a building, at least it won't disturb the people".

Where did those poisonous pesticides come from in the news?

Switzerland seems to be euthanized, but all the bank cards can't make up enough money for travel, which is very sad.

The idea of suicide has been echoing in my mind, just like the red apple taken away by the poison queen, tempting you to take a bite quickly, and then you can rest in peace without any more troubles.

I did a psychological test, and the result showed -38. I suggest seeing a doctor at once.

Moragu?

I spent a lot of money on seeing a doctor, reading online posts about depression, taking medicine and consulting. The condition is still the same, it's all a lie. Besides, I just want to die. When I am cured, I will come back to face this world that I can't cope with. I feel very headache.

Finally, one day, while my parents were not at home, I dug out a strong rope from the cupboard and held it for half an hour. I still picked up my cell phone and made an appointment for a psychiatric clinic. Maybe my body is asking for help, but it won't let me go.

I don't know if I didn't see a doctor, but I was still shocked when I walked into the hospital. The outpatient hall of Jingweike is comparable to the waiting room of Spring Festival travel rush Gaofeng Railway Station. It was crowded with people, and you pushed me and squeezed for a long time to find an appointment doctor. While waiting for the doctor, there is a sleeping clinic next to it. There is a little girl who looks like a middle school student sitting at the door waiting. She is twelve or thirteen years old, with a white face and a pointed face, and is as thin as Sister Lin.

It seems that only when you come here can you find a sense of belonging. Well, I'm not the only one who's sick.

The doctor asked me if I had any hobbies, and I said no.

I'm not good at singing, dancing, drawing and playing the piano. I used to have some experience in cooking food. For example, Mei Jie likes jujube paste and yam cake, Shi Xiangyun likes duck head, and I like duck blood vermicelli soup from university. Now I have no desire for food. Even my public comment account is deserted, and I have no strength to update my comments every month to maintain my identity. Even if I won the free trial, I gave up because I was too lazy to move.

There has been a patient looking inside the door. After talking for more than ten minutes, the doctor asked me to go upstairs for examination. When I got the list, I could only type one page.

Social anxiety scale, self-rating anxiety scale, somatization symptom scale, sleep index scale, self-rating depression scale, in addition to a bunch of scales, ultrasonic examination, infrared thermal imaging, autonomic nerve examination, especially infrared fever, really feel my brain dull and numb. Is my brain still my brain? If it is simple, it will take a long time to show it.

What a fool.

The doctor looked at my results for a long time and finally said, "don't be nervous, little sister, you don't need to be hospitalized for the time being." I suggest consulting. "

"Can't you prescribe some medicine?" I said.

"You can take medicine, but there are still some side effects. Wait until you can't eat or sleep, and then take medicine. "

When I walked out of the hospital, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. In fact, I really want to take some medicine to stop the strange thoughts in my mind.

Later, I told a Chinese doctor about my illness. He gave me several boxes of Shugan Jieyu pills for me to eat. He also said, don't always keep things in your heart, whether you cry, lose your temper or sweat during exercise, you should "vent" your quick emotions, otherwise you will get sick after a long time.

On second thought, consulting is still too expensive. The inspection fee of more than 600 yuan made my poor wallet worse. If I see more diseases, I'll lie down under the overpass.

Since all the doctors have confidence in me and my strong body has lived up to expectations since I was a child, I have no reason to give up on myself. So, after returning home, I began to study how to relieve the pain without spending money, look up information on the Internet, watch open classes, and chew a bunch of psychological self-help books by myself, which made me feel much better.

Of course, if you are not short of money, it is recommended to consult and avoid many detours. The doctor will tell you the training method and be your most loyal partner.

It is actually quite difficult to figure out what depression is.

Under normal circumstances, people who are deeply depressed will be greatly affected by their emotions, hopes for the future, views on themselves, and even their diet and sleep. The whole person seems to be out of control and often disagrees with himself. The more he hopes to get better, the more like a trapped beast.

The saddest thing is that I seem to have lost the ability to experience happiness. Nothing can make me happy, excited, excited and have no hope for the future. Like Ye Wenjie in Three-body, I even long for a more advanced civilization to save the earth.

When repeated struggles bring failure and despair, the motivation for change will be further weakened. Maybe lying in bed is the best choice. Everything takes too much effort.

My mother described me as saying this before and after I got sick: "This child is like an evil ghost, a good daughter, staying in the house all day, not saying a word, not dressing up, not going out."

My brother also found my difference: "Sister, you are not the same as before."

"What's the difference?" I asked him.

"My former sister is fearless, and she will fight our way out without a hard road. She is very independent and handsome, which is amazing. "

"What is it like now?"

"Now, I have completely lost my fighting spirit, and I am completely different. I can't remember how my sister used to be arrogant to me. She is gentle, obedient, humble and insensitive, like a little turtle. "

Although I don't want to admit it, this is a change in the eyes of my relatives.

Nobody likes such a person, an unhappy girl, and I don't like it myself.

I began to actively look for things that would make me happy.

The simplest thing is sensory entertainment. I watched all the variety shows, concerts and movies that I didn't have time to watch before. I laughed with my mobile phone and the day passed. It was this year that I fell madly in love with SECHSKIES, and the stage at the end of the century was simply a waterfall of joy. I was amused by YG and Yang Juhua archaeology. I indulged in fleeting happiness and escaped from reality.

It's been almost a month, and the happiness Enji won me has reached the climax of "habituation". You can't get pleasure after watching the program for 800 times. I started watching documentaries and open classes again and saw the darkness.

Here, I would like to recommend the happy course of Professor Sharjah of Harvard University. It is a sincere and practical course, which is especially helpful to adjust the mentality. He tells you that no matter how bad your life is now, you still have the right to pursue happiness. Simplicity+action is the best solution for a happy life.

It's not that having a decent job, driving a luxury car and making a lot of money is called happiness. We already have too many things to be thankful for, such as health, food, water and air, but we turn a blind eye and lack the perception of happiness.

Teacher shachar teaches students three skills to keep their positive attitude forever.

Skills 1: Action

Find yourself in action and make the most positive evaluation of yourself. And you can learn a lot in failure, which is conducive to building a positive psychology.

Tip 2: Imagine success.

The human brain can't tell what is real and what is reflected in the brain. When a person constantly imagines success and constantly imitates real scenes, the brain will respond accordingly. Of course, this is not 100% effective, but it is useful in most cases.

Skill 3: Cognitive Therapy

The theoretical basis of cognitive therapy is that emotions determine a person's thoughts.

Event-evaluation-emotion

When an event happens, people will judge it, produce emotions and even lead to some actions.

People's emotions are always determined by the judgment of ideas, so when a person wants to change his emotions, he must first change his judgment level, which is the important role played by cognition: if this cognition is correct and positive, it will promote people's development, and on the contrary, it will have a negative impact on people.

Therefore, positive self-suggestion must be indispensable, and you should input positive language to yourself every day.

I began to keep a diary, do gratitude exercises, meditate and exercise every day, and strive to be a contented, grateful and warm person.

With daily practice, anxiety and fear have subsided a lot.

Always remember to take care of yourself, take care of yourself.

In the pursuit of happiness, we are not alone.

There is a CCTV film called How We Fight Depression. I accidentally turned on the TV one day and saw it. I'm glad, but I'm still sorry.

I'm glad to finally open my eyes and pay attention to the depressed groups. It's comforting. It's a pity that the documentary didn't really show the predicament we were facing, especially when I saw it, a person with financial difficulties and no conditions for treatment, and it looked like a moaning without illness.

Social stereotype, patients' sense of shame, school, work, invisible heavy pressure and how to fight depression are all superficial phenomena.

Depression is not exclusive to the rich, and children from poor families are more likely to get sick because they lack care for a long time and can't stop attacking themselves.

This is a beginning, but not all.

To sum up, first, find an anchor that can move you.

During depression, the biggest problem is lack of kinetic energy. I didn't even have the strength to get up. I don't even bother to wash my face and brush my teeth, let alone ask for help.

Don't just squat on the bed and scratch your cell phone. Whether sweeping the floor, wiping the table or taking out the garbage, you must move first.

If you have spare capacity, you can try walking, brisk walking and even running. When your body gradually gains strength, your spirit will gradually get better.

In order to urge myself to act, I write down every step on paper, tick it and encourage myself.

For example, get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, apply moisturizing water, apply eye cream, wash clothes, wipe the floor, watch open classes, keep a diary, cook and so on. No matter how detailed it is, no matter whether you can do it or not, writing it down is to set a goal for yourself and have an anchor that can make you move. Then, take your legs and take action. Come on.

The second point is to believe in yourself, believe in yourself, or believe in yourself, constantly give yourself confidence and use your body to drive your spirit.

There is a concept in positive psychology called "law of attraction". Everyone is a living magnet, and all the wealth, happiness and health in life are attracted by people's inner feelings. Thought determines reality, what you pay attention to, what you will do, and what you will get in the end.

The so-called obsession, there must be memories, and interesting souls will eventually meet. This is the effectiveness of the law of attraction.

It needs you to know what is necessary for you, what needs attention and what needs to be given up.

For people with clear interests, this is very simple, such as Jobs, who bravely followed his intuition and was admired by thousands of people, but for me who didn't know what to do, I could only use the exclusion method. Just like Michelangelo, after chiseling away the unnecessary parts, his own David will appear.

I can't cope with communication, I can't look at color, I can't come to work, I can't kneel down to lead, I worked in a small city for two years, and I lost my life directly. I will probably never sit in an office again. Learning a trade and trying to be a freelancer may be my way of making a living.

Believe in yourself, encourage yourself and give yourself a steady stream of positive hints. No matter how miserable you are in the eyes of others, in your own eyes, you are the treasure in your hand.

There is an animated film called "Working Cell" in Japan, which popularizes various cells in the human body, such as red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets, in the form of "personification" and plot. They are strong or cute, and Qi Xin works together to fight for your health.

Even if you are ill, you are not the only one suffering. Countless cells in your body are dutifully guarding and encouraging you. This is a very kawaii, very bloody cartoon. When you are depressed, you can look at your blood.

In fact, the most fundamental thing is to change our cognition. Perhaps the experience of growing up as a child did not teach people to look at failure and self correctly. Some wrong ways of thinking, such as "should" and "must", emotional reasoning, perfectionism, generalization, internalization of responsibility, etc. , it will make people have an unreasonable evaluation of themselves, indulge in the wrong way of thinking, and sooner or later they will face waves of blows in life.

The following books are all about wrong thinking and cognition, that is, the refreshing feeling of cancer being dug up, two words, transparent:

Burns' new emotional therapy provides a set of tools to help you identify and overcome bad emotions.

Getting out of depression: The successful self-help of a depressed person is easier to understand than the above version. After all, it was written by China people, which is better than the translated version. You can compare it, and you will find that there are always few low walls in your mind. If you push it, the depression may be broken.

Be the most optimistic self and write down the root of pessimism and depression in detail, learned helplessness, and at the same time give you confidence and tell you that optimism can be learned. Dr Martin seligman also provides you with ABCDE therapy, teaching you how to refute the pessimistic thoughts in your mind and gradually gain optimism. The practice process is very happy. Someone bothers me, and this mode can make him speechless. You can look for it if you are interested.

I like two books in particular and recommend them to you:

The road few people take: the journey of mental maturity

It is really a super-high-selling book, full of understanding and care. It tells you that life is full of hardships and the journey of mental maturity is quite long. However, we should not be afraid, because after a difficult or even painful transformation, we will eventually reach a higher level of self-awareness.

In the face of miserable life, self-discipline is the most important tool to solve life problems and the most important method to eliminate life pain.

Franklin said, "Only pain can teach people." Keep facing and solving problems, your mind and soul will keep growing, and you will always be a child who will never grow up.

The so-called self-discipline is to take the initiative to ask yourself to suffer and solve problems with a positive attitude. Self-discipline has four principles: delaying satisfaction, taking responsibility, being loyal to facts and keeping balance.

Why are we willing to bear the pain of life through self-discipline

The power behind it is love. Love is the driving force of self-discipline.

Teacher Chen's ego

I seem to have recommended it several times before, so I still want to recommend it after reading the book list again.

Whenever I am a little disappointed in myself, I will turn it over. Bob Dylan once wrote: "How many roads must a person walk before he can be called a person."

Similarly, on the road of self-development, you will experience many difficulties and suffer many sins. This book is your best companion.

Want to change your behavior?

You can take an X-ray of psychological immunity to see your fears clearly, or you can test your life assumptions to see which rules limit your development. Take the first step through the principle of taking small steps, cultivate an "environmental field" and turn new behaviors into new habits.

Want to promote the evolution of thinking?

First of all, you should judge what your mental model is. Growth mental model leads to exploration and change, and defense mental model leads to defense and stillness.

There are three typical manifestations of defensive thinking mode: rigid thinking, natural thinking and absolute thinking.

Look, it's actually the wrong cognitive way I've seen before that hinders people's development.

So how does the growth mental model develop?

Goal-oriented creative thinking, dichotomy of controlling thinking and action, and closed thinking facing reality.

Especially the dichotomy of control: try to control what we can control, not what we can't control.

The first half of the sentence teaches you to concentrate on making progress, and the second half teaches you to let nature take its course. The combination of the two is the way to maintain positive progress and inner peace.

Teacher Yin Ruzhen, who won the Oscar for Best Female Match, said a particularly lovely sentence:

"People who laugh at you will die sooner or later. Why care?"

Yes, we can't control what others say about us, come from a family, and what others think and do.

What can we control? If you want to exercise, you can control whether you get up early or go for a walk at night.

To get rid of depression, you can control yourself to move, get up, eat, keep clean and tidy, and so on.

Find out the controllable part behind things and make plans so as not to fall into nothingness.

In a word, this book is a treasure. The more you dig, the happier you are, which is very helpful for restoring psychological energy.

At this point, the article is too long. I still want to talk about the value that depression brings to me.

There is no doubt that this is not a pleasant trip. My parents didn't think of it, and neither did I. They will be forced to learn to accept a daughter who tries to die. I'm stuck in the mire, too. I can't move.

In the past, I always paid too much attention to others and ignored my own feelings, and even was educated as a "virgin."

My mother doesn't like dyeing her hair, so I have been afraid to dye my hair. My dad doesn't like girls being strong, so I've always been a good girl. As an elder sister, I should care more about my younger brother! When I go back to my hometown, my relatives who should go should keep in touch. I am obviously a person, how can I become a family spokesperson?

When I met a leader with D-character, I wronged myself to have more S-character in my body. I put up with leaders who don't take care of things. Repeated accusations, failures and attacks finally crushed me, and I didn't have time to turn back. I was really cruel to myself. Often I stop and go to the next battlefield before my injury heals. How can you have time to talk to yourself?

In the past six months, I have no job and have a lot of blank time to feel the people and things around me quietly.

Bloom flowers fall, the neighbor's son is beating his daughter-in-law, and there is a wild cat downstairs. It seems that someone will get married in the second half of the year and someone will be promoted. So-and-so is a nanny, and it is a pleasure to take care of the baby. Mom and dad at home must nag each other every morning. You can't live without quarreling. ...

Read all kinds of books, open classes and get to know yourself again when you are in good shape. I am intermittently decadent. If I want to lie on my back, I will watch concerts, variety shows, movies, go out for a walk and feel the fireworks that once disappointed me.

Gradually, I also found myself a member of the highly sensitive HSP crowd.

For example, I can always clearly hear someone whispering in the elevator. I can tell whether my aunt downstairs is frying eggplant or stewing beef by the smell of lampblack. I always put myself first for each other, and I will be hurt by someone's unintentional words and hold back my tears. I can quickly observe whether people around me are happy or lost, and I can't control myself from reading other people's words too much, which finally makes me exhausted.

Only 20% people in the world are highly sensitive, and I am fortunate to be a "rare species".

After the news of beating people in Tangshan came out, I was filled with indignation for several days and always wanted to do something. My father said that I reacted too much, which was unnecessary.

But I'm just sensitive to stimulation, and I can't help but substitute the role of a girl, "thinking too much."

Later, I learned to avoid situations that gave me strong stimulation as much as possible, quit Weibo and my circle of friends, and learned to create my own relaxation space, listen to music quietly, run with headphones on, keep a diary and meditate before going to bed, and record the joys and sorrows of trivial life.

It is also the focus of positive psychology to let people who have a dull life find a little novelty and excitement.

Didn't Tagore have a poem? "The world kissed me with pain, but I sang in return."

After fighting depression, it is closely related to my flesh and blood. Nietzsche's sentence "What can't kill you makes you stronger" is correct to some extent, because facing pain directly is the meaning of suffering.

Hannah arendt said that people show their uniqueness in words and deeds and write their own stories. Words and deeds need the presence of others. Not only do we need the company and help of others, but the meaning of life may also depend on it.

Share this experience, I hope it will help you.

Although it's hard, it's still going to overheat.

* * * Encourage.