{urgent} I want some funny recruitment lines.

"B": Brother, of course. You look like a handsome boy! Little cricket's brother.

X: Huh? !

X: (clearing his throat) The selection has officially started. I, the person in charge of recruitment in our company, will announce the selection rules first:

According to the document 1 of our company in 2006 (ahem)

1. Our company has the freedom to choose you;

2. Our company has the freedom not to choose you;

3. Our company has the freedom to choose and not hire you;

4. Our company-

"B": Brother, what freedom do I have?

X: You only have the right to remain silent, but what you say will be used as evidence in court. Anyway, you're here-

"B": How about that?

Xu: Freedom will be limited, but for the benefit of you and your family, our company provides you with the following two options:

1. Close the door from the inside and start choosing.

2. Close the door from the outside and get out!

I began to cough violently because I was struggling to speak.

"B": (takes out Keke cough syrup) Brother?

X: (coughing) What?

"B": Drink Keke's children's cough syrup when you have a cold and cough. (Shy and gentle) Hello, I am good!

X: Stop, stop, it's a mess. All right, I'll show you. Now I declare that the selection has officially started again!

Xu: I heard that you are from the south. Can you sing Cantonese songs?

"B": No!

Xu: Then can you dance street dance?

"B": Oh, no!

X: There is nothing you can do. It's very brave of you to come. Then, then tell me what you can do.

"B": I can sing opera!

Xu: I think you can act!

"B": Allah, Allah can really sing opera;

At the beginning of the background music, "B" stood up and began to sing, slowly turning to the audience from the side:

* Liu Dage's speech is too biased. Who says women enjoy leisure, men fight at the border and women weave at home?

Farming during the day and spinning cotton at night, and working hard day and night, soldiers can have this food and clothing.

If you don't believe me, please have a look at our shoes and socks, as well as our clothes and shirts.

It's all their fault ~ ~ ~ ~

There are many heroines, and they also make great contributions. Killing the enemy for the country is a generation of heroes. What are these women inferior to boys ~ ~

During this period, "A" and "C" commented on finger painting and whispered.

All right, I don't think it's necessary to choose the rest, so I won't bother you. You can buy tickets for Henan Opera at will.

"A" and "C"

In Henan dialect: Why, why, then what are we doing here? If you don't choose, you won't leave today.

(Acting like a liar)

X lit a cigarette and smoked, wondering how to choose.

"A" rushed forward and grabbed the cigarette case to stop Z from smoking.

"A": (pointing to the cigarette case, smoking is harmful to health, as it should be) Smoking is harmful to health. A good employee should not smoke in public places. Smokers in public places should be fined or even imprisoned alone.

X: (angry from embarrassment) You, get on your line, what's it to you? You, you think you're banning smoking.

"A": Of course, the little girl is from the non-smoking office of * * company!

For the sake of your health and your family's health, our office has carried out practical anti-smoking activities. In view of the frequent smoking during the Spring Festival and the vital interests of consumers, we have also specially launched many brand-new preferential activities:

You can take part in our tailor-made "cigarette pack A" activity: for those who give and are given cigarettes, they will start to charge only after they are officially lit, and the average person only charges 2 yuan for each cigarette. 00 yuan, and the free time discount is only 1. 00 yuan. Of course, you can participate in monthly and annual activities, and you just receive them every month.

100 yuan. Those who participate in the annual activities will only receive 1000 yuan per year. While exempting the two-month fee, they also gave away a free hardcover "Hao Di" cigarette.

By the way, the minimum consumption of this A package launched by my office is 20 yuan per month, which will be deducted from the salary account of smokers in our company every month. I really want to smoke cheap and economical cigarettes. What are you waiting for? Come and customize it.

Of course, you can learn more details through our toll-free hotline 0393-7411012119. For foreign users, please dial 178 1 * before the number. If there is no answer.

X: What if someone answers?

"A": Direct consultation, idiot!

X: stop and fight ~ live! People can sing China's plays. What can you do?

A: What's so rare? I can sing foreign songs! -music!

The background music begins, and the "A" begins to be deeply interpreted (foreign songs are optional, preferably lyrical "I am a big girl" for reference)

Bow deeply after singing, bow again, bow again-