A book that makes you laugh.

1. Teacher: You are not allowed to play with your mobile phone in my class. Students who really don't want to go to class can sleep. Xiaoming: Teacher, but I can't sleep without playing with my mobile phone before going to bed. Teacher: I'm in a good mood today. I don't want you to take your gun out. You still push your nose and face ... In that case, please, Xiaoming. ...

2. There is a monitor in this class who has rhinitis and never leaves his body. One day (hot summer), he sneezed, and the whole class looked back at him, so that he thought it was time for class and immediately shouted: stand up! After two seconds of silence, the whole class burst into laughter. What were you yelling about before the teacher came? What's even more amazing is that there was a sleeping buddy in the back row who woke up immediately, rubbed his eyes and said, Hello, teacher. ...

3. In the afternoon, a blood donor came. At the end of blood donation, he said to me: Try to lose to men and less to women. I was puzzled and asked, aren't men and women all the same? Then, this buddy said, if you lose blood to a woman, isn't it a waste of your period?

The family is sitting on the sofa watching TV. Suddenly, son: Dad, when I grow up, I want to be like you. Mom: No promises, son. What's he like? Dad smiled happily: What do you like about me, son? Son: Just like you, you can ask your mother for it every day.

Five dollars for pocket money ... Dad: Silly son, you can't find the tune when you cry, just like me. ...

Step 5: 1

eight

Ten old people are weeding in the field. A reporter appeared and asked the old man, Grandpa, you are so old, and you still call your wife dear every day. what do you think? The old man paused and said slowly, saying too much is tears! I forgot her name a few years ago, so I didn't have the courage to ask. ...

6. I am on a business trip with my colleagues. When I arrived at the hotel, he carefully checked around the bed. I was curious and asked, What are you looking at? Colleague said: see if you have long hair, afraid of sticking to your body, go back to your wife and misunderstand you! As soon as I heard it, I felt very reasonable. I started looking into it, too. When I finished checking, I remembered one thing. Ouch ... I'm still single ... I'm a single dog. ...

7. Mom: How can a greedy child eat everything like a pig? The son still eats this and that casually, and the mother is angry: Hey, do you know what a pig means? The son replied: Yes, it's a sow's child!

8. I still remember when I went back to my hometown, I used herbicides in the farmland, I carried water, and my father carried a sprayer to spray drugs. Ready, let's go! I've been chatting since work, but I'm so happy. I hit it.

Four quarters

Third, my dad suddenly stopped, squatted down and lit a cigarette. I asked: What's the matter? He looked up and spat at his cigarette and said, I have to fight again! I asked again: What? He said: just put some water in it, no medicine! Add medicine! Medicine!

9. I caught a cold yesterday, so I went for an intravenous drip. Just a small bottle of liquid medicine costs more than 100, so I asked the nurse, nurse, it used to be a big bottle of liquid medicine, but now it's so small. Nurse: Save water, start from a little bit ... Are you sure you are not kidding ... 10. Xiaoming often fails the exam, and his father told him not to let me call him dad next time! Xiao Ming returned to school at a loss. Soon, the school will have a monthly exam. After the exam results came out, Xiaoming took the test paper home and said to his father, I'm sorry, brother ... I was blindfolded for his father. 1 1. I just got back. I saw a boy and a girl snuggling together, enjoying a long scarf. They are still the cutest, boys are about 1 meter.

Nine. Girls are less than 1 meter.

I think she is being strangled. ...

12. I heard that there were many thieves in the commercial street, so I decided to turn around for a few days and didn't steal me. Finally, one day I found a thief. I followed him for a long time, so I got up the courage to ask him, buddy, why didn't you steal me? A word almost pissed me off. He said, big brother, I always thought we were colleagues. You look really dirty. ...