Funny and humorous netizens reply

1, Landlord: Isn't it hot for you women to wear bras in summer?

Reply: You will be hot if we don't wear it. ...

2. Landlord: I hit my dog! He did not tell me about the earthquake. During the earthquake just now, he usually slept in his nest screaming happily as if nothing had happened!

Reply: Well, after all, it's not your own. ...

3. Landlord: My wife gave birth to a baby girl, which is very cute. Please give my daughter an imposing name. My last name is Cheng.

A mature chicken thinks of Han.

Landlord: Give me a woman and I will create a country!

Well, I'll give you a sow, and the price of meat will fall next year!

5. Landlord: Please describe China National Seismological Station in one sentence.

Answer: wise after the event, like a pig beforehand!

6. Landlord: Talking to those idiots at work every day makes me feel that my future is very slim. ...

Be happy ~ because it's not terrible to play the piano for cows. What's terrible is that a group of cows play the piano for you every day!

7. Landlord: Urban management adds new weapons to catch stray dogs!

Violent reply: the same root is born, so I want to fry too fast.

8. Landlord: Why do more and more people don't want children?

Violent reply: Senior officials sent by Beijing said they should start with dolls.

9. Landlord: A student, with the lowest grade every year, often fights with others. According to the leader's request, the teacher wants to give students better final comments.

Violent reply: The student has stable grades and strong hands-on ability.

10, landlord: Through the incident of drinking mineral water in Hainan, we can see that China's food safety is worrying, and mineral water can also kill people? Is there no sign of QS?

Violent reply: weak, is QS going to die?

Landlord: Do you want Chris Lee or Zhang Ziyi?

Violent reply: neither a rooster nor a pheasant.

12, Landlord: Which is more economical, keeping a dog or a man?

Violent reply: Auntie, even if you can treat men as dogs, do you dare to treat dogs as men?

13, landlord: Chris Lee and Sister Furong fell into the water at the same time. You have a brick in your hand. Who did you hit?

Violent reply: who saves who.

14, owner of the forum: I have1000000, and I want to buy a car. Please give me some advice.

Forum reply: You can sell 30 QQ cars and drive in teams, with S-type cars and B-type cars for a while.

15, forum owner: Wang married Chen, please comment in four words.

Forum reply: You are getting better!

16, forum owner: Last night, when walking the dog, our big Tibetan mastiff and a bald wild dog on the edge of the grove bit each other. Fuck! Unexpectedly, the Tibetan mastiff was defeated by a grass dog! ! !

Forum sofa: * * *, before I went bald, they all called me a lion!

17, owner of the forum: If I have 100 million RMB, I can borrow money to buy a house in Tomson Yipin!

Forum reply: Yes, but you have to borrow money to pay the property fee first ~

18, the owner of the forum: He vowed today that I am a part of his life and I am a part of his body. He can't live without me ~

Forum sofa: That's what my ex-boyfriend said. Later, I learned that I am as dispensable as his appendix, ears and six fingers!

19, owner of the forum: I am so rich, what car should I buy for the nanny?

Forum reply: that depends on what relationship she has developed with your husband ~

20, forum landlord: the damn barber shop cut my head! Let's do some bad actions, and ask that the bigger the injury, the better, and the smaller the action, the better, because I am going alone.

Forum basement: Late at night, the moon is dark and windy, quietly and gently, hanging alone in front of the barber shop. ...

2 1, the owner of the forum: When you were a child, did you imagine what kind of scene would make you show off in front of everyone when you grew up?

Forum bench: Pick a cart of dung and go to the street to see who is not pleasing to the eye and throw it at him head-on!

22. Forum owner: Why do the police sound sirens when they catch bad guys? Aren't you afraid that horrible bosses will hear you and run away?

Forum sofa: Generally, the superior unit will inform the subordinate unit in advance before coming to check ~

23. Forum Landlord: Why do children born have the same surname as their fathers?

Forum sofa: Because the money spit out by ATM belongs to the cardholder.

24, forum landlord: Handsome is useless-in the end, it has not been eaten by a chess piece!

Forum reply: Handsome guys have companies, guns, horses, cars and unrequited love ... What's wrong with handsome men? ! !