Psychological intervention to prevent domestic violence

Chapter one: Psychological intervention to prevent domestic violence.

Chapter 2: 14 What can women do to fight domestic violence at no cost after calling the police?

The former "don't talk to strangers" made domestic violence enter people's field of vision for the first time. Although the status of women in modern society has improved, there are still many women who are still struggling in the quagmire of domestic violence. What about domestic violence? What does Li Yang's family violence mean?

Psychological intervention to prevent domestic violence

20 1 1 September It's been half a year since Li Yang, the founder of Crazy English, committed a violent domestic violence. At present, the hot discussion on this incident in the society continues. Undoubtedly, it is necessary for us to talk about Li Yang's domestic violence from a psychological perspective.

Analyze the salient features of domestic violence.

Through various forms of media reports on Li Yang's domestic violence, we basically analyzed the characteristics of general domestic violence:

1. In Li Yang's domestic violence, the victim is his wife Kim, and Li Yang himself is the perpetrator: his actions are hidden, for example, they all happen at home or in a closed space. Usually it's not public violence. If Kim didn't show the wound to the public through meager, no one would believe it was a real event;

The motive of his behavior is intentional. It's incredible to say that you don't have the consciousness of hitting people, but it's all excuses and excuses. Under the great pressure of the public and society, Li Yang had to admit the fact of domestic violence and fully admitted that he clearly wanted to hit people or even kill people.

Domestic violence is illegal, not behind closed doors, but our family business. Li Yang thinks that this matter can be solved by himself and his wife. There is no need to let everyone know, but I don't know that the seriousness of this matter is far from simple. In the western legal system, he will face strict sanctions and control.

5. Its general feature is repetition. Once, there will usually be a second time, or many times. In the past six months, we have seen their violent incidents (except physical violence, verbal violence, mental violence, etc. ) continue.

6. The consequences of domestic violence are generally serious. It hurts not only the body, but also the psychology, or the safety of the family. For example, Li Yang's career was frustrated, and her social recognition and reputation were greatly reduced: Mrs. Li Yang's future life is worrying, and how can the psychological shadow and trauma suffered by her children be healed? And other practical problems such as survival. Therefore, we say that family problems are often social problems. Don't think that closing the door is your personal business. The consequences are often unexpected and unbearable for the parties.

Analysis on the Special Causes of Domestic Violence

Most domestic violence is committed by men against women, but there are also historical reasons. Since ancient times, there have been ideas such as "men are superior to women" or "three obedience and four virtues". Nowadays, many men think that their wives are their private property, and they can kill and chop them at will. Li Yang, who has a brilliant career, undoubtedly has such a preference for boys. Although our laws prohibit violence, they are relatively principled. There is no clear identification or sanction standard. This does provide many abusers with psychological advantages and violent inertia.

In daily life, we have a habit: it is difficult for honest officials to break housework. It seems that beating people and quarreling are our own family's business, and others can't control it. But Li Yang's wife Jin is an American, and she hopes to solve the problem through legal and public moral opinions, so the problem is magnified.

It is undeniable that many domestic violence incidents also have economic reasons. For example, some women are not economically independent and rely too much on men or husbands. In this way, men are more emboldened to beat their wives. When Li Yang and his wife started a business together, everyone lived in peace, but with the increase of children, Jin gradually became a full-time housewife, and the differences and frictions between them certainly increased. Coupled with poor communication, economic issues are opaque. Problems will always erupt when they accumulate to a certain extent.

As far as many marriage counseling cases experienced by Chen Yi are concerned, many factors of domestic violence are the result of extramarital affairs, with the intervention of a third party. At present, the Li Yang incident seems to have no such factor, but an enlarged case. In many marriage counseling cases I have contacted, domestic violence caused by extramarital affairs is the primary reason, accounting for 60 to 70%.

Maybe everyone will ignore that there is a negative textbook on domestic violence. For example, many children who have domestic violence will bring family of origin's domestic violence emotions and behavior patterns into their families when they grow up. Many violent parties in our psychological counseling cases can find the fuse and influence of their violent behavior in Origin and Death when analyzing the deep psychological level, which shows that parents' words and deeds are very important.

In fact, through many media materials, we can see that Li Yang has inferiority complex. It is estimated that this has a lot to do with his negative events and setbacks as a child, and we can also see his special so-called "crazy English" model, such as excessive enthusiasm for things, neglect of family, excessive recognition of his own value and extreme pursuit. His success in career has not relieved his pressure. On the contrary, his inferiority and inner desire to achieve great things make it difficult for him to control himself, and the imbalance of inner psychological energy leads him to do so only. If you worry about the inside, it is natural for you to worry about the outside. Recently, his wife, Kim, has inadvertently become the object of violence.

Of course, in Li Yang's family violence, we saw Li Yang's wife Jin's independent personality and tit-for-tat attitude, which was also one of the fuses for the escalation of the incident. In the cases I handle, it is generally advocated that one party should be calm, avoid violence and temporarily leave the violent environment and psychological atmosphere, which is a very important way to alleviate domestic violence.

Suggestions on dealing with domestic violence

As far as Li Yang's family violence is concerned, what makes us think is that this is not only the marriage problem between men and women, but also the cultural differences between China and the West, as well as their professional orientation and dislocation, and the specific ways to solve the contradictions. It's complicated, and there will be different suggestions in our specific marriage counseling.

Pay attention to your first domestic violence. You can forgive each other, but at least let them know that they don't accept domestic violence, they will never show weakness, and they can't do this anymore. Li Yang's wife, Kim, adopted a tolerant and quiet attitude in Li Yang's first domestic violence and later domestic violence. Therefore, Li Yang's violence is escalating. Finally, I had no choice but to think of solving problems through social help when I died. It provides a good example for many women who are sad because of domestic violence. If you don't stand up bravely in the face of domestic violence, then you have to face the cruelty of domestic violence yourself, and you have to assess the risk of solving the problem yourself.

2. In case of emergency, you should use 1 10 to give an alarm. Many times, many people overestimate their ability to deal with domestic violence, thinking that they can close the door and solve it themselves. You can't solve the problem, but you hurt yourself. Missed the best opportunity to solve the problem.

Third, actively seek help. For example, to friends, neighborhood committees, women's federations, etc. In the case of Li Yang's family violence, we saw that they also went to do special marriage and family psychological counseling in the later period. But unfortunately, Li Yang only went once and refused. The problem of marriage must be faced and solved by both sides. Unilateral appeals have no real help and meaning.

Fourth, pay attention to collecting evidence. For example, hospital diagnosis, showing wounds to acquaintances, etc. This is the minimum cognitive preparation for safeguarding rights.

Be cautious and rational about your marriage. If you say that the other party continues to abuse domestic violence and refuses to change after repeated education, divorce must be your choice. Dare to get out of the vicious circle of domestic violence and live the life you really want. Restraint and tolerance are not without principles and bottom lines.

14 After calling the police, what can women do to fight domestic violence at no cost?

Judging from domestic violence cases, many domestic violence incidents are caused by husbands' extramarital affairs. Domestic violence and extramarital affairs are two major problems in women's rights protection. In real life, brave women have embarked on a difficult road to protect their rights when they are abused by domestic violence or their husbands have an affair. However, a woman in Nanning frequently called the police 14 times after her husband's domestic violence, trying to take up legal weapons to defend her rights, but her husband did not pay any price. In the face of "rude" laws and regulations, the legitimate rights and interests of women have been violated. What can they do?

14 alarm

Criminals have no cost.

Huifeng (pseudonym) can't remember how many times Li has beaten her since she married her husband Li in 2009.

Hui Feng said that in March of 20 10, Li received a phone call to have dinner with a netizen. Knowing that it was "that woman", I asked to go with her. Li denied it. After quarreling with her, he punched her on the head. She fell to the ground, and then her face and abdomen were hit like rain. She struggled to get up, rushed out of the door and shouted for help. Moreover, the residential property staff saw her being chased by her husband with a stick. Afterwards, the police took Li to the police station and she was taken to the hospital. This is a minor injury.

Facing the police, Li Cheng admitted his mistake and promised not to repeat it in the future. Things are gone, and the result is the same every time you call the police. The police told her that this was her family dispute and it was difficult for the police to intervene. As far as the injury is concerned, she has no evidence and they can't file a case. At that time, the neighbor was really chasing her, but she didn't see her being beaten with her own eyes, and according to the degree of her injury, she couldn't punish Li.

From July of 20 10 to March of the following year, Li Yin often didn't go home to cheat. Scold her when you get home, and hit her when you get bored. Huifeng remembers that she made 14 alarm records in different police stations, which were reported by herself or witnesses when she was beaten. In addition, she also has the injury certificate of the hospital examination, but so far, Li is safe and sound without any consequences.

To get evidence

Buy all kinds of tracking equipment.

HSBC is unwilling. She wants to know the evidence of Li's infidelity and violence so that she can get the punishment she deserves. In order to resist and defend himself, Huifeng bought electric batons and other equipment. In order to collect evidence, after consulting a lawyer, she secretly installed a GpS locator on Li's electric car, and carried a recording pen, a small camera and other equipment with her.

Every time he was abused or beaten, Huifeng took out the recording equipment whenever he had the chance, and Li was silent when he saw it. Several times, according to the locator, Huifeng learned that Li was not at work, but went to the "woman's" home. Therefore, she often carries a two-year-old child on her back. Huifeng said that she found that Li went to "that woman" every week. 2011August 2 1 day, when she was taking her children to kindergarten, she followed them to Jian _ intersection in Sixian county. After being discovered by Li, Li slapped her, but she still followed closely.

When she reached a certain distance, Li violently attacked her, and she took out an electric baton to fight back. Unexpectedly, Li snatched the electric baton and her handbag was thrown away. When she tried to grab the bag, Li fell to the ground and was beaten. Li also smashed the mobile phone and small camera in her handbag.

Huifeng said that at that time, many people saw that she was beaten bloody and could not get up. Later 120 ambulance took her to the hospital. But when facing the police, Li said a lot about her, saying that she hit him first. Li also said that she hoped that she would be good with him, "Stop it", and the police released Li again, thus ending. "What I regret most now is that I didn't do the injury identification because of the cost. This is the most serious one. If it is identified as a minor injury, maybe he will bear criminal responsibility. "

In recent years, HSBC has reported the situation to the neighborhood committees and women's federations in its jurisdiction, but the problem has not been solved because there is no direct evidence. A few months ago, she also submitted the reflection materials to the urban public security bureau, but she didn't get a clear answer. However, on March 27, Huifeng told reporters that the police in the jurisdiction informed her to go to the police station.

Gao Ning, director of the Rights and Interests Division of the Women's Federation of the Autonomous Region, said that according to the data of the Women's Federation in recent years, the number of women's complaints about domestic violence has decreased year by year. Perhaps this is related to the enhancement of men's legal awareness and women's awareness of rights protection. Even so, many female victims did not pay attention to the preservation of evidence: when they were subjected to domestic violence, women should immediately call the police; Women who have suffered from domestic violence for a long time should seek help from local neighborhood committees or women's federations, and neighborhood committees should issue relevant certificates; If your body is damaged, you should go to the hospital in time and take photos with your camera to leave a certificate.

"However, it is really difficult for women who suffer from domestic violence to defend their rights." Gao Ning said that in judicial practice, the threshold for people's courts to identify domestic violence is too high. "Some courts believe that only injuries are domestic violence and should constitute minor injuries or multiple minor injuries. They often don't admit that one or two beatings are domestic violence, and they don't pay much attention to the mental damage caused to others through insults and slanders.

In the traditional concept, domestic violence is still regarded as "housework". Even if the police are called, the public security organs are unwilling to intervene, that is, the perpetrators themselves are convinced that "housework can't be managed by others", and marriage has become the shield and amulet of the perpetrators. Gao Ning said that after the police station received the report, it was generally considered as a family civil dispute, and the perpetrators were rarely punished.

Gao Ning also said that when dealing with domestic violence complaints, women's federations usually first understand what happened, find out the root cause of domestic violence, and clearly tell the perpetrators of domestic violence about its harmfulness and illegality. In addition, the Women's Federation will also provide legal aid to female victims and their views and opinions on this matter.

Gao Ning said frankly that China's laws on stopping domestic violence are scattered in various laws, with strong principles and poor operability.

Spouse selection suggestion

Don't get married when there are signs of violence

Gao Ning reminded that when making friends, the woman should first pay attention to how the man treats people. If the other person is usually violent, such as abusing his family or impulsive, the woman should seriously consider the marriage problem. We should stick to our principles from the beginning and not live with each other just because they are kind to us. He can beat and scold his family today or have a bad temper, and he will beat you later.

Gao Ning also said that the prevention of domestic violence should start with small things. By studying many cases of domestic violence, she found that domestic violence started from small things. Many women don't care about their husbands' slight violence, thinking it's just a general family dispute. If you don't point out his mistakes, he will treat you in a more violent way in the future. After discovering that your husband is prone to violence, you should talk to him and point out the harm of doing so. Only by starting from small things can we prevent more serious domestic violence.

It is reported that many domestic violence is caused by extramarital affairs. Extramarital affairs are hard to prove. Even if the wife provides photos of her husband and mistress together, it can't be said to be an affair. To prove the crime of bigamy, two conditions must be met: first, public cohabitation in the name of husband and wife; Second, * * * has the obligation of husband and wife, such as supporting parents, raising children and building houses. It is very difficult to collect this evidence. At present, China's violent sanctions are mainly applicable to intentional homicide, injury and abuse in criminal law and public security management punishment law. A little thing, my husband punched and kicked, and outsiders didn't know. When the injured party is injured, no evidence collection cases are kept. Most of the injuries are not serious, and minor violence can't reach these charges.

In addition, although the revised marriage law has added the clause of "opposing domestic violence", there is still no clear stipulation on the extent to which violence belongs to domestic violence and what kind of punishment should be given. Law enforcement personnel have difficulties in the specific implementation process, and the perpetrators

Conclusion: Whether in love or marriage, people hope that "the prince and the princess live happily ever after" as in fairy tales, but if there is domestic violence, they must ask for help in time. (The article was originally published in Health Expo, serial number: 2065438+March 2002, by Rola Chen, and the copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible if it involves content, copyright and other issues, and we will delete the content as soon as possible)