43-year-old man cheated! What is the most important thing for a wife to do?

There is a heated discussion in the society about how to deal with her husband's cheating. Teacher Yang Fengchi, a CCTV psychological interview expert, said this:

Specific to the way to deal with her husband's affair, there are roughly three strategies.

By improving your thoughts and behaviors, let your lover think that you are better than that affair. There is no need to keep an affair, and he will come back to you naturally. This is the best policy.

The middle policy should be grasped, but we should pay attention after grasping it. Don't cry and make a fuss easily, but let the other party make a statement and choose what to do. If the other party expresses remorse and is determined to break off the relationship and live a good life, then let bygones be bygones and never mention it again.

Why?

Because the lover has an affair, it is definitely not the lover's business. You must share the responsibility with him. The less you delve into it, the more embarrassed the other person is to play with fire again.

The worst thing is to cry when you catch it and make a scene; The other party expressed the determination to repent, but still clung to it. The other party said, anyway, you always think I'm having an affair and I can't live any longer. You go, I'll find another one.

There is a lady like this. When she suspected that her lover was out of control, she followed him secretly. When she caught him, she was crying. Her lover said that she had repented, but she still insisted. At this time, my wife has been promoted in the unit. She said, you haven't been promoted yet, and it will be more dangerous for you to be promoted again. I must tell the main leaders of your unit, the secretary of the discipline inspection commission and the secretary of the party Committee, so that they can't promote you any more, otherwise there will be big problems. My wife tried to persuade her, but she still couldn't. As a result, she went to the unit leader and made a scene. Originally, my wife wanted to repent, but later insisted on divorcing her: "You have become a pest, and I can't live with pests." After the divorce, her ex-husband was very kind to her, gave her a big house and lived in a small house by herself. When letting his son choose to live with his father or his mother, he thought twice and followed his father. Finally, she became a person who lived in a big house.

Then her ex-husband got married again. When she was looking for someone else, they said you were out, so stop it. Looking for a son, the son also has a problem with her, saying that a good home will make you fall out. Why did dad have an affair? You usually come with him, make a hullabaloo about, and then quarrel. If I were my father, I would have an affair.

As a result, the ex-husband didn't understand himself, and neither did the son. Before the divorce, the family was well-off, and the pressure on the property, water heating, electricity and telephone charges of this big house was not too great. The ex-husband earns more money than her. Now that I'm divorced, I have to pay for the property and heating. She used to earn less money, and her living standard plummeted after her marriage.

Now she regrets that it was wrong to divorce so much. Later, someone introduced her to someone and met several people. At first glance, she is worse than her ex-husband. She thinks it's better to live alone than to marry someone. She said, I am in pain now, staying alone in this house every day. Thinking about my ex-husband, I feel a little sorry. I have gone too far and my ex-husband's promotion opportunities have been ruined by myself. Thinking about children, I feel sorry for him and let them grow up in a broken family; Think about your own night scene, which may be even more bleak. She is in an awkward position in both emotional life and material life.

Fourth, don't easily equate cheating with cheating. The average person's reaction to an affair is particularly strong. They feel greatly hurt and think that the other person has betrayed themselves. If two people live together, everything is fine, and one party is still looking for new love for a long time. Obviously, he (she) will have a systematic denial of his lover before he (she) will affirm the opposite sex. We should carefully judge whether to continue living with him or her. If this person has been separated from his spouse for a long time and the affair is accidental, there is no need to delve into it too much.

In fact, many people may never have an affair, but they have no sense of responsibility and love for their families, which has also caused considerable pain to their families. By contrast, can having an affair kill all the advantages of this person? The parties to an affair often think that I did it because I was hot-headed and didn't control myself well. But at that time, I didn't want to hurt my lover intentionally, let alone betray him (her). For example, some people study abroad, live alone overseas for many years, and have a little intimate relationship with someone in the local area. The other party should not only blame, but also understand.