Humorous campus jokes

Humorous campus jokes

Humorous campus jokes, jokes are an indispensable part of life. Jokes are short in length, simple in plot but often unexpected. Jokes are a little spice in our lives. Here are some humorous campus jokes to share with you. Humorous campus jokes 1

Chapter 1

1. My deskmate is very annoying and can’t stay quiet for a while.

Reluctantly, I drew a 38-point line on my desk and said to him: Everything that crosses the line is mine.

As a result, he shamelessly sat on my table.

2. When a certain class chooses the class beauty, a dinosaur-level girl said: If I am elected as the class beauty, you can tell your husbands in a few years that I was more beautiful than the class beauty in my department in college. It's you who have earned it. As a result, this girl was elected the class beauty with a high vote.

3. When I was in high school, my Chinese teacher was talking about poetry and said: "Stop and sit in love in the maple forest at night". The teacher said, "This is sit in love", and everyone burst into laughter...

4. A classmate is confused. I lost my watch last month, and my QQ signature changed to: My watch went to a thief; I lost my mobile phone on the bus this month, and my QQ signature changed to: My mobile phone went to look for my watch; Today I got lost on the street, and later The QQ signature was changed to: I went to find my mobile phone...

5. Three hates of girls in college: first, they hate that their bodies are not hot enough, second, they hate that they have never dated handsome guys, and third, they hate that they have a lot of words. Almost

6. When I first entered college, I was absent from class every day. One day, I suddenly ran to attend a class on a whim. I happened to encounter the teacher who called the roll call. After all the roll calls, my name was not there. I was so angry that I slapped the table and stood up. I asked the teacher: "You look down on Rensa! Why didn't you call my name!"

Upon seeing this, my deskmate pulled me and said, "Classmate, you may have gone to the wrong classroom!"

7. I have been having bad luck these days, so I wore a bracelet. My roommate saw it and said, "Hey, I bought it for ten yuan!"

Me: "Go away, I'm climbing Mount Taishan myself. Go and pay for it!”

Roommate: “How much does it cost?”

Me: “Ten yuan.”

8. Once in class, a student The classmate was very hungry, so he soaked instant noodles. In order not to let the teacher find out, I put the book up and buried my head, but the heat still came out.

The teacher said calmly: "Which classmate is this, who is obsessed with reading?"

Chapter 2

1. Ever since I entered the examination room, I have been favored by the test paper. I told the test paper that it must be exposed to both rain and dew. But I didn’t listen to the test paper~ Just test the ones I don’t know~ Just test the ones I don’t know~

2. A tall boy passed by me in the school cafeteria carrying a bowl of soup. It was very crowded. , so I was very close to the bowl, I was afraid that the soup would spill on me, and then I took a sip.

3. A classmate from junior high school is very poor in English. When he is in good condition, he can count 28 out of 26 English words. I didn’t understand, so I asked why. He said he counted them on his fingers. I saw that when he memorized W, his fingers followed the sound of "da, bu, liu" and the result was 28!

4. The teacher said that you are all the flowers of the motherland. After that, he walked into the classroom Throw a hornet's nest and then lock it.

5. When I applied for a job after graduation, the interviewer said to me: "At your age, even if I give you five thousand a month, you won't be able to save money. You just like to spend money randomly, so I will give you two thousand a month." Five is enough." I was speechless.

Chapter 3

1. When the bell rang, the teacher said angrily: "Why do you all run to the cafeteria like starving ghosts after class? There is no food in the cafeteria because you are late? No one is allowed to run today."

The students looked at the teacher and shouted: "Teacher, please run slower, you haven't told me to stand up before get out of class is over!"

2. The exam is not allowed. After passing the exam, I apologized to the teacher (female): “I’m sorry, I was wrong.

"

The teacher snorted coldly: "Where are you wrong? You are absolutely right, how could you be wrong!"

3. A boy was in a daze during class, and the teacher asked: " What are you thinking about? You don’t even pay attention in class.

The boy replied: "I miss you." "

The teacher stayed for a while and shyly replied: "How are you!"

4. I remember that when I was in junior high school, I had a chemistry class. No matter how the teacher tried to control it, the class was still noisy. , then I heard the chemistry teacher holding a test tube and shouting: "Believe it or not, I will blow you all up!"

The class was quiet for an instant, and no one dared to cause trouble in the chemistry class from now on.

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5. A hospital intern had just bought some cold medicine and didn’t have any money. He planned to borrow 30 yuan from the teacher, so he asked her: Teacher, do you have 30 yuan?

But she came She said: "Guess?"

I was speechless for a moment... She smiled and said to me: "I am 32 this year..." Humorous campus jokes 2

　1. During the college entrance examination, the weather was cool when I was taking the math test. I accidentally fell asleep and was dreaming. The invigilator called me: Wake up, classmate, you have half an hour to hand in your paper. Let your paper dry, it is too wet to be bound...

2. The teacher scolded Xiao Ming: "Your handwriting is so sloppy that no normal person can recognize it. Xiao Ming said: "But if I want to write stroke by stroke, you lecture me for making too many mistakes." ”

3. My parents came to school to visit me and took them to the hotel in front of the school to book a room in the evening. When registering, the front desk casually asked: “Do you have a membership card?” I also answered casually. One sentence... "Yes". Then...then came the harsh interrogation of my parents...

4. "I am a high school geography teacher. Yesterday I talked about the Volga River in Russia. I said: Once upon a time There is a very famous painting, do you know what it is? Student: Trackers on the Volga River. Student: Teacher, do you know another very famous song? Me: ...Student: The love of trackers on the Volga River. "

5. "Xiaoxin made a new girlfriend online, and he brags about how beautiful his girlfriend is when he meets everyone... One day, Xiaoxin looked at his girlfriend's photo and was filled with admiration, saying, "It really looks like a fairy descending to earth." …’

His roommate was curious for a while and couldn’t help but want to borrow photos to see the fairy descending to earth, preparing to be “amazed”. However, after reading it, he only had one question: “When you, a fairy, descend to earth...” ...Did he hit the ground face first? 』"

　6. "Aqiang always dozed off in class. The teacher couldn't bear it and woke up the sleeping Aqiang and asked him, "In the tortoise and the hare race, do you know why the hare loses?"

"I don't know," Aqiang replied sleepily.

"Because the rabbit is dozing off," the teacher said angrily...

"Oh! "I understand." If Aqiang had some realization, "It turns out that all those who didn't doze off are turtles!"

7. My classmate was heartbroken, so I went to comfort her and said: My condolences, by the way... The female classmate listened. After thinking for three seconds, I wiped my tears, squeezed out a smile and said: There are so many people, but you are the only one who can comfort people...

8. When the school bell rang, the classroom was still noisy. After a while, the teacher slapped the table and it suddenly became quiet. Then the teacher yelled: "Can't you hear the school bell?" After a moment of silence, a deep voice came from the corner of the classroom: "Which time did you hear the school bell?"

9. A There are six people in the dormitory. The fourth child likes to snore when sleeping. He often makes us unable to sleep. One time, the second child couldn't bear it anymore and slapped him. After the fourth child woke up, he looked at the second child in horror. The second child said: It's a nightmare. Second brother will cover you with a quilt. The fourth child said sleepily: Thank you, second brother.

10. Xiao Zhang doesn’t like studying and his grades are very poor. When he was about to graduate from college, he asked the professor: "Teacher, what should I study after graduating from college?" Professor: "Recruitment advertisement.

”

11. My girlfriend who majored in mathematics wanted to break up. Her boyfriend asked why. She said: You are financially poor and have a bad personality. You always pretend to be in front of others. You seem to love studying a lot, but you can’t get good grades. But it’s a mess! Male: You’re too exaggerated! Female: I’m right!

12. I have taught art and design classes for many years, and I often encourage students to use their creativity. It was called "Association of Hands." Among the exercises I handed back was a piece of black drawing paper. I looked at it for a long time, but there was nothing drawn on both sides. Only on one side of the drawing paper could I vaguely find the name, class, and proposition written in pencil. : "I can't see my fingers."

13. People who go to college will occasionally be childish. Last week, the new monitor of our class announced at the class meeting that we would organize a new class for the new leader. The class went on a trip, and the destination was decided by a vote by the whole class. As soon as the words were said, I discussed with my classmates where to go, and finally we decided to go to the zoo for convenience. Zoo).

After the monitor collected the votes, he chanted in front of the classmates: "One vote for Nanshan Ski Resort, one vote for the Great Wall..." Suddenly the monitor raised his hand and shouted loudly with a ballot. : "Who wrote this 200? The funds for this event are limited, so it’s okay not to go and have fun, but it’s definitely not okay to give out 200 yuan! "

14. The natural knowledge teacher introduced the various poisonous snakes in the forest to the students on the blackboard and taught various emergency measures.

The teacher then asked: " What should you do if you encounter a cobra? "

The student said anxiously: "Break its glasses first! ”

15. The most seductive text message: The meteor of love says to you: love love = very love, love-love = the starting point of love, love*love = infinite love, love/love = the only one Love! Humorous Campus Jokes 3

1. When I was in college, I pestered my female teacher to confess my love to her. She said she would agree to find me after I graduate.

I found her in five years. She cried and begged her, saying: Teacher, why don’t I stop pursuing you? Please let me graduate, and don’t let me fail the class on purpose.

2. Entrance ceremony, teacher. He took the badge and pinned it on me, and asked me in front of many students in the audience: "How do you feel?"

I said with tears in my eyes: "The badge pin pierced my flesh..."

3. Just pull out a junior high school girl on the street. If you are above 95, you will have money with you. If you are above 60, you will have more than 100 yuan.

If you pull out a junior high school boy at random, if you are above 70, People who bring less than 30 yuan not only don’t bring any money, they also owe others money.

Do you believe it?

4. I heard that girls wear bras when sleeping. It affects the development of breasts, so during math class today, I took off my deskmate’s bra with my own hands.

I did this for her own good, but I don’t know why she hit me? Haha, I deserve to have a flat chest for the rest of my life. .

5. Our roommate was heartbroken, and we persuaded him to cheer up and said, "Actually, your girlfriend may not be feeling well either. "

Roommate: "Being uncomfortable proves that she still likes me, so why did she abandon me?"

"This..." I quoted from the classics, "Probably it's called happiness. Just give up!"

6. In math class, the teacher gave a multiple-choice question. After the roll call, he asked me which ABC to choose. I walked away and didn't listen, so I subconsciously said "Huh?"

Teacher: "Don't use Pinyin next time, yes, choose A"

I...

7. The physics teacher said We were in her class as if we were in love.

We all asked why!

The teacher raised her glasses and said: Because people who are in love have zero IQ. !

After saying that, he turned around and wrote on the blackboard!!

8. At night, a student climbed over the wall to go online. The head teacher checked his bed and saw that no one was in his bed, so he slept directly on his bed. .

The next day when the student came back and saw someone on the bed, he patted him and asked, "Who are you lying on my bed?"

The class teacher lifted the quilt and sat up and said, "You are back? ”

Then the parents were called...

9. Student A wanted to return to his seat, but was blocked by another student B, so student B asked A The classmate said: "I drove this road, and I planted this road. If you want to pass by, please stay and buy road materials."

At this time, the teacher stood outside the door and said: "Can I swipe my card?"

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10. The head teacher suddenly transferred my top three female classmates and replaced me with a big idiot who was dumber than me. I didn’t agree and asked the head teacher why?

As a result, the head teacher told me sincerely: "I am trying to improve your academic performance in another way. You should understand whether a negative or a positive is a positive, right?"

11. I want to take a nap this morning. I didn't go to class and was sleeping. Suddenly, my head teacher called me. I hung up decisively and waited for two minutes before calling back: "Teacher, I was in class just now. I'll give you a call now. Is there anything you can do?"

"Oh, it's okay. I just checked the dormitory to see that you were sleeping soundly and came out to call you to tell you that it's time to get up."

I...