The poorer the grass-roots people are, the more they will betray their families.

This is a heavy topic, and it is unavoidable for everyone to come from a family.

Someone will always ask: why do I work so hard and work overtime every day, and the gains are still so insignificant?

Why do I always feel that others have something I can't get?

Why do some people get along so well with everyone, and I'm just a social phobia?

Why do I always worry that my superiors are not satisfied with me, my favorite female (male) friend is not satisfied with me, and I am not satisfied with me?

Wait, wait.

A large part of the reason comes from the usual psychology and logic formed by the family.

Being born in a family is more or less reflected in each of us.

You can do a simple experiment: when you are happy or angry about something, do you look like your parents' happy or angry expression?

If so, it means that you are still under the influence of the behavioral logic of Born Family.

It is not that the behavioral logic of family background is not good, but that the more grass-roots families develop, the more they have to get rid of or overcome the influence of behavioral logic of family background.

As adults, we should understand that the ceiling of parents' development is your starting point.

Beyond this starting point, you are in a world beyond your parents' cognition, and there is nothing they can do or the solutions they provide are ineffective.

You can only judge for yourself.

A father who lives by farming all his life, he can't provide you with a better life solution for living in the reinforced concrete jungle.

A mother who has been depressed for most of her life and feels that she has met a stranger may not be able to provide better emotional choices for you who are entangled in love.

2、

Vision can really determine the pattern.

My own father is a good example.

When I left the army, my resume was excellent, my suit was straight and my eyebrows were pointed. There are several units in the provincial capital where I can go. First, I accepted the counterpart arrangement and became a prison guard.

The upper body of the uniform is dignified, but after wearing it for less than two years, I feel that I have worn enough uniforms and want to be a scholar.

The leader agreed and arranged to go to the child's middle school.

Excellent performance, outstanding business ability, organized to send public funds to Hunan No.1 Normal University for two years.

Everything should be smooth and prosperous.

The jade emperor didn't guess my dad's magical brain circuit: he actually wanted to transfer back to his hometown!

As soon as I mentioned it to the leader, the leader laughed at him: others just want to go to the city, even if they are cleaners, they are preparing for an iron rice bowl, with wages, benefits and housing allocation.

Who would want to go back to the village from the provincial capital?

My old man is so stubborn, the leader loves talents and has been dragging his feet.

He looks for it every day, loses his temper, and the leader is angry. His criticism with a stroke of a pen only told him: If you regret it in the future, don't mention me again!

My dad is adamant: I will never regret it!

Why did my father have to go back from the provincial capital to the village where the power was cut off?

Just because my grandmother always said, son, when you are in town, it is rare for mom to see you.

My grandmother was widowed in middle age and raised three brothers and sisters of my father by herself. My father considered his brother's weakness and worried that my mother would suffer.

For my mother's sake, I went back to the village without hesitation. First, I had to go to the next town. Ten years later, I was transferred home.

When I arrived in the village, I was introduced immediately and became husband and wife with the girl in the village, my mother.

Since the age of forty-five, the old couple haven't moved their nests, and they have been working at sunrise in that remote rural middle school, and they are noisy at sunset.

Up to now, old people occasionally turn over past photo albums, and my mother is also making fun of them, pointing to one of the ladies and telling us: This is the English teacher who likes your father's washing clothes.

The old man gave a wry smile and did not deny the uncertainty.

Once I asked him, are you sorry?

He said, I don't have any regrets myself, and I don't have any regrets about your mother. I just feel a little indebted to your brother and sister.

You see, when I was a colleague, which one didn't have several suites in the provincial capital, all the children went abroad to study and settle down, and their hometown immigrated to Australia.

Look at me: Try harder yourself.

If I were you, kill me, I wouldn't go back.

You can take root in the provincial capital and take it from me.

But no one opened God's eyes.

My grandmother's words decided my father's life.

Of course, it is also inseparable from the homesickness in his bones.

When I was a child, I would cry and say: You are actually a farmer.

3、

The thinking and cognition of people formed by family background for many years will affect a person's behavior logic and growth trajectory for a long time or for life.

Many families from different backgrounds attach great importance to frugality, which is regarded as a virtue in their bones.

That's true, but this frugality is probably petty and narrow-minded when applied to interpersonal relationships.

The logic of "gain and loss" is "wish": give up and you will get it.

In the early 1990s, there seemed to be a policy that high school graduates could go to work in Xinjiang border areas after unified training and assessment, and solve the problems of diploma, job, household registration and cadre treatment. As long as they work for ten years, they can be transferred back to the mainland, and the training fee of 10 thousand is also their own.

There is a butcher in our village. He is in the third grade of primary school, and he can't recognize the commonly used Chinese characters.

He stepped on the threshold of selling iron, begged his grandfather to tell his grandmother, and the director of the credit union. All kinds of soft grinding and hard foam just made up the 10 thousand yuan.

I sent my son to Xinjiang, and the day before I went out, I had a big banquet and my face was red.

After his son left, he became more and more diligent in killing pigs.

Watching pork and his wife eat bran and swallow vegetables every day to pay back the money.

Today, he has gone to play with his son.

Tired of staying in the city, I went back to the hut I built in the village.

My son is already a cadre in a city in the province.

Those villagers who laughed at him in those days, their sons continued the days when they sweated in the fields during busy farming and sweated at the construction site during slack farming.

If poor grass-roots families do not change their habitual thinking patterns and logic, it is difficult to make essential changes and iterations.

4、

Being born in a family also has a far-reaching influence on the growth and shaping of personality.

In other words, all the good and bad reflections of family background are hidden in your character.

My cousin wants to marry me when she wants nothing.

Until now, elderly neighbors have been sitting together and talking about my uncle, and the air is always full of joy.

It is said that my cousin caused a sensation when he first came to our village.

In today's words, the plate is bright and smooth.

175' s head, military uniform without collar, fair skin, slender legs, and especially, smiling with white teeth and two dimples.

The skin was white because my cousin always washed his face with toothpaste, and was later discovered by the villagers.

Gee, I knew about skin care at that time.

The most important thing is this person. Everywhere he goes, he is happy, smiling, lively and interesting, and loves to make friends.

Now it's called high emotional intelligence.

In my uncle's own words, he drank too much: he traveled all over the world and was full of his friends.

My cousin is from Xiangxiang and loves to drink. It is really "a glass of white wine to make friends". Wherever you go, you are good brothers, drinking and eating meat together.

Father often teases him about whether he has been in the imperial city of Beijing and seen the world.

My cousin was discharged from an army in Beijing. Look at the photos of the military camp, standing like a pine eyebrow, one word: handsome!

On the third visit, we became sworn brothers with the young students and recognized a man named michel platini.

Sister's sister may recognize a lot, but there is no such ceremony.

Cousin may belong to the ambitious and talented type, and has never done anything important in his life.

But his son is different from my cousin.

My cousin didn't inherit his father's beauty, but he carried forward his father's sociable character.

I dropped out of school before I finished the second grade.

After dropping out of school, he studied electric welding and oxygen welding and joined the engineering team.

Michel platini was worshipped by his brothers everywhere, and became a small contractor in his twenties.

Now he is the boss of an engineering company, and his net worth must be there.

After paying the money, he built roads and bridges in the village, and he was still a member of XXX.

Although my cousin is old, he is still an old handsome boy. Under the nourishment of his son's career, he is still a dazzling star in the village square dance every day, and the aunts are always around him.

Every time I see my cousin with deep pockets during the Chinese New Year, I am always afraid that he will say, what's up? Why don't you come and work for me?

There is no distinction between good and bad personality, and the formation of personality is closely related to the environment in family of origin.

We should be able to distinguish between good and bad personalities and make effective adjustments.

Remember one thing: personality is innate and cannot be changed, but it can be adjusted according to needs.

5、

Grass-roots "betrayal" of family background is not really betrayal and forgetting the past.

Instead, we should clearly realize the negative impact of family background on growth, jump out of the barriers and broaden the possible development space of our lives.

If you follow the inertia, the original things will always accompany you all your life.

The more grassroots, the more "betrayed" the past.

The more iterative the upgrade.