Thoughts triggered by Gu Ailing: 1.5 Generation Immigrants' Self-identity Crisis

This past Spring Festival, I believe everyone watched the broadcast of the Winter Olympics. Among them, Gu Ailing, who grew up in the United States but participated in the Winter Olympics as a contestant from China, has always been the focus of news pursuit. Her nationality and attitude towards the two countries have also triggered discussions among netizens. In addition to the second-generation immigrants born in the United States like Gu Ailing, there is another group that also faces these problems and finds its own foothold in the collision between two countries and two cultures.

1.5 immigrant generation: refers to people who immigrated to another country when they were young. Usually parents settle abroad first and then take their children there. There are children immigrants and teenagers immigrants. This group of people went to live in another country with memories of their hometown and China identity. So, what problems will they face? How do these new immigrants view themselves and the people around them?

In the first few years abroad, I was often asked: How was my foreign language learning? Is life there really like in TV series? Their words reveal curiosity and a trace of envy. I think this is undoubtedly a beautification of what I don't know. Life, no matter in which country, is much the same. Some people spend money like water, while others are in hot water. However, language is only the first obstacle that new immigrants have to overcome, and it is not difficult at all. "Adaptation" is the eternal theme of new immigrants.

I have met many friends of immigrants from junior and senior high schools. In this sensitive period, immigration is a great challenge for parents and children. First, they must learn the language. Adolescent immigrants learn languages more slowly than childhood immigrants. The second is the problem of adaptation. You know, adolescence is the stage when we begin to establish values and seek self-knowledge, but teenagers' understanding of themselves is not comprehensive enough and their values are unstable. In this turbulent period, it is not easy to go to a strange country and be baptized by another culture. In addition to language and cultural differences, new immigrants may also face prejudice and discrimination, as well as self-identity.

Prejudice and discrimination have always existed. Not to mention new immigrants, we are always full of gender prejudice and geographical discrimination. I have met friendly people and people who are biased against foreigners. The decency of adults won't let them express their prejudices directly, but we can still feel each other's attitude between the lines and subtle expressions. Prejudice and discrimination are usually invisible.

When I first entered high school, I met a teacher who lived in a small city in China many years ago. Knowing that there were many China students in her class, she began to talk about her life in China at that time, mainly focusing on how inconvenient it was to live in China. She said that she was shocked by the culture. I guess she may want to get closer to us through this experience, but I did hear her attitude.

I have also seen unfriendly words on the wall near the subway station, such as "why don't XX people stay in their own country and come here to grab jobs with us". Indeed, after the arrival of new immigrants, it is also a realistic problem to have a job competition relationship with local people. Aren't the residents of some big cities in China disgusted that foreigners disturb their hometown? However, these problems occurred in China, which is only a prejudice between regions, but when they occurred abroad, they rose to the issue of ethnic discrimination.

According to my observation, people around me have three attitudes towards their new identity after changing nationality:

1. Acceptable type: completely accept your new identity. They are eager to integrate into immigrant countries and accept local values and lifestyles. Trying to get rid of my original identity, and even being ashamed of my original identity. For example, they prefer to make friends with local people and try to avoid talking about their origins.

2. Resistant type: Such friends are unwilling to accept their new identity and refuse to integrate into the local culture. They hold a negative and critical attitude towards immigrant countries. I have a strong homesickness complex, but my parents have settled there. In this case, it is difficult to leave your parents and return to China. Because it is difficult to change the status quo, I am dissatisfied with my present life and blame all my misfortunes on this country.

3. Contradiction: I feel confused between two identities and cultures. I don't fully agree with my new identity, have no unified attitude towards who I am and what I want to live, and have no sense of belonging.

I belong to the third kind of contradiction. I think I have to choose between my new identity and my old identity. Living in this country, accepting my new identity seems to be the easiest choice. Although I am no longer from China legally, I am still from China psychologically. I remember chatting with my friends at that time and talking about a topic. The friend said, "What do you know as a foreigner?" This joke made me feel uncomfortable, because I never felt that my nationality had changed and I was no longer from China. I also regret following my parents' advice and becoming a citizen. The fact cannot be changed, but this contradiction bothers me, and I feel that I have lost a part of myself. I don't know who I am or where I belong. It seems to be both, but it's not. It took me a long time to solve this problem. "Foreign Chinese" is my view of my identity.

I fully understand the attitude of "accepting" and "resisting" mentioned above, but I think there is a better way. I think it may be because of inferiority, prejudice and discrimination, or because of the experience of being excluded. Whatever the reason, we can't deny our origins, because it's not shameful. On the contrary, blindly refusing to accept the reality will also bring some problems. When you come to a new environment, you must make some changes to meet or adapt to the new environment. If you don't accept change at all and don't adjust yourself, it will be difficult to adapt to the new environment. This kind of "rejection" will also push people who approach them in good faith further, and eventually make them fall into the predicament of isolation and helplessness.

Perhaps the best way is to find a balance between the two and live with the identity and cultural confidence of China people. No matter which nationality you choose, you deserve to be respected.

After all this, I told myself that I should try to look at myself without "nationality". Where I come from, the law has the final say, and I have the final say. What I think of myself is the most important thing. Nationality does not affect my requirements for myself. Because, I have always been myself: always kind and always sincere.