June 65438+1October 65438+September to February 7, 2009. What major events happen every day?

2009 is destined to be an extraordinary year. Why? Because in China, every year is an extraordinary year. Otherwise, the propaganda department is dereliction of duty. Wash your feet with Mengniu milk every day these days. I found that Mengniu milk is harmful to my nutritional supplement, but it can inspire me when I wash my feet. When I washed my feet yesterday, I suddenly felt that ten major events would happen next year (2009). What's the big deal Please listen to me in detail.

The first big thing:

In 2009, China will win the Oscar for Best Actor. China award-winning actors come from a government department in China, and their level is not lower than the provincial level or even higher.

The second big thing:

The 2009 Nobel Prize in Chemistry will be won by the Japanese. The Japanese made an outstanding contribution to the life and health of the people in Chinese mainland, because he invented a cheap and simple test stick, which can be used to detect toxic substances widely existing in food in China. The Japanese won the Nobel Prize in chemistry. The probe stick he invented became the only Japanese product that the anti-Japanese cynics did not resist.

The third big thing:

There is a wave of immigrants in China, and almost all China people whose net worth exceeds 6,543,800 yuan have emigrated. As a Commonwealth country with the largest number of immigrants from China, Lai Changxing, a Chinese living in Canada and known as Lei Feng, was warmly welcomed by immigrants from China because of his glorious deeds of insisting on selling the oil bought from abroad to the people of China who suffered from high domestic oil prices, and with the strong support of immigrants from China, he won the Canadian Prime Minister election in one fell swoop and became the first Chinese Prime Minister in Canadian history. The Government of China regrets this.

The fourth big thing:

Known as the most vicious "urban-rural dual system" in history, it has achieved a shocking reversal. Since the outbreak of food crisis in China in 2008, urban residents who have long been vulnerable to environmental pollution have moved to the countryside to settle down. "Settle down in the countryside and return to green" has become the biggest dream of non-immigrants in China, and the security problem in rural areas is becoming more and more serious. Patrols composed of militia and unemployed youths can be seen everywhere in rural areas of China, which are mainly responsible for checking rural temporary residence permits for urban residents. All city residents feel that their feelings have been hurt, because they all think they have been discriminated against.

The fifth big thing:

Real estate continues to be depressed, and it can no longer play the role of the pillar of the national economy. Instead, it is the immigration economy. Most people who used to work as real estate agents switched to immigration agents. It is conservatively estimated that the output value created by immigrant economy accounts for more than 50% of Chinese mainland's GDP.

The sixth big thing:

The monopoly pattern of China newspaper industry was formed, and Southern Metropolis Daily and Beijing Youth Daily went from bad to worse, becoming the giants of North and South newspapers. Both of them have been renamed successively. The former was renamed "Everything in the South is retribution" and the latter was renamed "All disasters in the North".

The seventh big thing:

Cctv has fallen into an unprecedented crisis of confidence, and there is no other income except financial allocation, in order to resettle the bloated staff of CCTV. CCTV decided to merge all the channels into one channel, which is dedicated to broadcasting medical guide advertisements for sexually transmitted diseases and skin diseases. Even so, it still makes ends meet.

The eighth event:

In order to reverse the passive situation caused by the food safety crisis to the government, the State Council decided to follow the example of the exchange of officials in the eight military regions: starting from 65438+ 1 in 2009, the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television and the General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine conducted personnel exchanges throughout the class. By the second half of 2009, many cartoons from China were exported to Japan, and the food safety crisis was effectively improved.

The ninth event:

Compared with 2008, there were few news reports of police killings in 2009. On the contrary, news reports of police being killed frequently appear in newspapers. The reason is not that POLECE has been effectively curbed, but that the urban management has become more * * *, and the flood has washed away the Longwang Temple.

The tenth big thing:

In 2009, Hanfu replaced the traditional shroud and became the most popular commodity in the funeral industry. Inspired by the "Slapping Yan Chongnian Incident" in 2008, China Academy of Social Sciences established the Slapping Economic Research Institute, which specializes in the research of slapping economy. China experts have been slapped repeatedly, which has brought remarkable economic benefits. In 2009, the output value brought by the slap economy has surpassed that of the manufacturing industry. Since then, experts in China have collectively lost their language, and the people's ability to correctly judge things has obviously improved.