Talk about Bill Gates

According to the latest news from "Wild News": Bill Gates, chairman of Microsoft and the world's richest man, has gone bankrupt! It is said that Bill Gates came to China to travel and inspect investment projects. The entourage told Bill Gates that China's railway transportation industry was developing rapidly and the investment prospects were very good, so Bill Gates immediately bought a train ticket and took a train in China for on-site inspection. It was this inspection that set him on the road to bankruptcy. Bill Gates felt thirsty on the train, so he bought a bottle of "Kangshuaifu" from a pile of "Wahahe", "Lebaimin" and other brands on the trolley pushed by the steward. "Purified water, maybe he thinks this is closer to the "Master Kong" purified water he bought at Wal-Mart, right? Ten minutes after finishing a bottle of "Kangshuaifu" purified water, Bill Gates suddenly felt like porridge was boiling in his stomach. He hurriedly held his stomach and bent over to find the toilet. As a result, during the more than an hour's drive, Mr. Bill Gates went to the toilet 12 times, only to have his feet weak and dizzy. After getting off the train, Bill Gates felt deeply guilty for wasting so much water of the Chinese people (flushing water after using the toilet) by himself, and kept saying "Sorry" to the conductor who got off the train - because While going to the toilet, he once saw several Chinese passengers being kicked out by the train conductor with a broomstick and banging on the toilet door, so he couldn't wait to apologize to the conductor for fear of having to file a lawsuit against the train in the Railway Court. . After leaving the train station, Bill Gates, accompanied by his entourage, went to the local traditional Chinese medicine hospital to see a doctor, because Bill Gates has long admired China's traditional Chinese medicine, and admired China's Sun Simiao and Li Shizhen very much. After entering the hospital and registering, Bill Gates was immediately arranged to see a doctor because he was an international friend. An, a middle-aged doctor wearing glasses, coldly asked the patient's name, age, and address. When he learned that the person in front of him was the famous Bill Gates, his attitude immediately became enthusiastic, and he kindly asked Bill Gates if he wanted to see him. What disease? Bill Gates told the kindly spectacled doctor that he had diarrhea after drinking a bottle of purified water on the train, and took out the empty bottle to show him. The doctor took the bottle and took a look at it and said seriously: "This is counterfeit low-quality purified water. You must not drink it." Then he picked up a brush and opened several orders for Bill Gates to pay for the examination. Within a few minutes, Bill Gates' entourage came over and asked the doctor, "Don't you just have diarrhea? Why did I go to the billing office and the examination fee alone cost nearly 10,000 yuan?" "Am I the doctor or you? Doctor? How can we know what the condition is and how we can prescribe treatment without examination?” The doctor with glasses said angrily, “We doctors must be responsible for our patients and their health; we can’t just care about money like you.” The entourage listened. Zuotou left with a face full of shame. A few hours later, Bill Gates and his entourage, sweating profusely, came over with a large stack of test reports and various examination pictures and handed them to the doctor. The optician adjusted his glasses and looked at the test reports and examination pictures one by one. After looking at each picture, he shook his head and sighed; Bill Gates' face turned from green to white, from white to blue again, and he could hardly breathe. . After finally waiting for the doctor to read all these things, Bill Gates asked uneasily, "Excuse me, doctor, how serious is my condition and why do I need so many examinations? Do I need to rush back to the United States for treatment immediately?" Glasses The doctor frowned and shook his head: "Based on my many years of clinical medicine, I'm afraid you haven't returned to the United States yet, and you were already on the plane... I think you should go through the hospitalization procedures for observation, right?" Bill Gates was so frightened that he almost fainted when he said it. He couldn't even say "melon buyer". His entourage hurriedly said, "Mr. Gates is preparing to come to China to invest heavily. You must cure his disease and there must be no accidents; otherwise China will lose a very huge investment." The doctor immediately went on to say: "Mr. Bill Gates, please rest assured that we are all people's doctors and we serve the people - and we also serve the American people; we will use the strength of the entire hospital to treat you and ensure your health. "After a joint consultation with the chief doctors of several departments, the optician said to Bill Gates: "Mr. Bill Gates, after a joint consultation with the chief doctors of several departments, *** discussed several sets of treatment plans and decided to treat it. You use "characteristic treatment of integrated traditional Chinese and Western medicine", what do you think? If you have no opinion, please sign to confirm. ” So Bill Gates signed up and was hospitalized, where he underwent various examinations every day.

That day, the optician asked the nurse, what kind of examinations did Bill Gates have? The nurse looked at the record book and replied: "Routine blood tests, major and minor positives, brain waves, gastroscopy, B-ultrasound, CT, MRI...all the examination items provided by our hospital have been completed." "Have you done all the gynecological examinations?" "Also done all the gynecological examinations." "Damn it, this shabby hospital has so few examination items. How can it generate income and develop? No wonder Chinese doctors are not as rich as American doctors!" " If you think about it carefully, what else has not been checked and done?” “There is really nothing; by the way, a reporter from the city TV station called you just now to ask you, when is the time for our department’s ‘Special Treatment with Integrated Traditional Chinese and Western Medicine’ advertisement? Ask them to come over to take pictures?” “Oh... I understand.” A month later, Bill Gates was informed that he was discharged from the hospital, and he was also notified to ask his lawyer and professional accounting personnel to come over to handle the discharge settlement procedures. Bill Gates thought: "It seems that China is still a very legal country; all discharge procedures require lawyers and professional accountants to handle it." So he asked his entourage to inform the lawyer and fly to China with professional accountants immediately. . After lawyers and professional accounting personnel came to complete the settlement procedures with the hospital, the lawyer said to Bill Gates: "Mr. Bill Gates, I want to inform you that you are bankrupt." "How is that possible? I am Bill Gates. You can't spend all your wealth in the United States for more than ten lifetimes, and you can't go bankrupt just because you have diarrhea in China!" Bill Gates smiled and shook his head. The financial staff on the side came forward with a bundle of bills to show to Bill Gates. Bill Gates looked at a few bills at random and saw that it read: 1,800 bottles of glucose solution and 3,600 bottles of saline for daily intravenous injection and medication. 280L of blood transfusion, 1800 times of moxibustion... "Buying melons! Damn buying melons! How can I use so many things in one day? You must have written it wrong, otherwise it is a lie!" The optician who was standing by silently spoke at this time: "Mr. Bill Gates, can the software developed by your company be wrong or deceptive?" "Of course not!" "That's it, we are state-owned here. A regular large hospital is not an unlicensed private clinic run by "retired military doctors"; our hospital is all computer-managed, using the genuine "XP" software produced by your Microsoft company, and everything we give you is... There is no handwriting on the list printed by the computer. How can it be wrong? You started in the computer industry, so I don’t need to tell you about computer knowledge." "OK, OK; I admit that there are no mistakes in these lists, but that's it. You can't just ask for all my property, right?" "And this, sir." The financial officer handed over another list. Bill Gates took it and took a look: three large trucks, one crane, one forklift, one locomotive, 28 carriages, two 2.8 million-ton freighters... "My mother, these things can cure my diarrhea." What does it matter?" Bill Gates shouted. "The big truck is used to take away the thousands of empty medicine bottles that you use every day; a crane and a forklift are used to load the trucks; the train is used to load distant medicines. I heard that you admire China very much. Medicine, I have prescribed some pure Chinese medicine for you to take back to the United States to make soup. The two freighters are for you to transport these things back to the United States. Our hospital will not be greedy for patients’ things, and just now The things I mentioned were all bought for you at insider prices through acquaintances,” the optician said. "Even if what you say is reasonable, these things don't cost so much, right?" "The main expenses are checked here. Please take a look." The accounting staff handed over another list: routine blood test, major and minor positive, brain test, etc. Radio wave, gastroscopy, B-ultrasound, MRI...CT, MTV. "How could this physical examination be filmed on an MTV?" "Oh, that's the case. We were worried that if you unfortunately passed away in China, we wouldn't be able to let your relatives see you for the last time, so we filmed an MTV for you.

"It costs $50,000 per minute to shoot MTV...how can it be so expensive?" "It's not expensive at all, because you are a celebrity, so we invited the famous Chinese director Mr. Li Yimou and the famous host Hei Yansong's "Son of the West" column team to shoot it for you!" "But I haven't seen any MTV filming?" "We were filming in secret, so you didn't see it." How could there be my grandmother and my mother's grandmother, my grandfather, my grandmother, my great-grandfather... What about the MTV fee? And everyone filmed for a month; you know They have passed away, how can you take pictures? ""I said it was possible, but you don't understand it. Am I a doctor or are you a doctor? Do you listen to me or do I listen to you? "You are a doctor, I listen to you." "Isn't that right? I've already asked our hospital's accountant, and you still owe our hospital $5.5 billion in fees." The lawyer said that we have filed for bankruptcy for you, and we can no longer hold you legally responsible; you can go back." The next day, newspapers and media around the world used headlines to report the news that Bill Gates had gone bankrupt and returned to the United States. A few years later, the nurse married the optician and they both immigrated to the United States. They were sitting in the back garden of the mansion that originally belonged to Bill Gates. The nurse asked: "Husband, what disease did Bill Gates have that was so serious back then?" ? So that after reading those inspection reports, you frowned and told him, 'I'm afraid you haven't even returned to the United States, but you were already...' on the plane, but you didn't say it?" "I didn't expect that his health was so bad? Health, so many examinations and laboratory results came out with nothing wrong at all; I frowned because I was heartbroken that I would miss an opportunity to treat such a rich man. How much income would I lose? I originally wanted to tell him, " I'm afraid you've already... fully recovered on the plane before you returned to the United States. Finally, I came up with a temporary solution of hospitalization for observation. "What's that 'special treatment with integrated traditional Chinese and Western medicine'?" "Special treatment with integrated traditional Chinese and Western medicine" is to treat minor illnesses into serious illnesses, and then cure the illnesses." The optician finally concluded, "So, a successful doctor does not depend on his medical skills. How high it is, the key is to be able to coax and scare, and to be sinister. As long as you coax and scare the patient, he will be at your mercy!"